


Science/Visions

by Rikudera



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Altered Mental States, Byronic Heroes & Heroines, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Don't Try This At Home, Dubious Consent, Dubious Morality, Dubious Science, Explicit Language, Fucking Your Way To The Top, M/M, Office Sex, Scheming, Unhealthy Relationships
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-11
Updated: 2019-03-31
Packaged: 2019-07-28 08:32:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 4
Words: 25,252
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16237937
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rikudera/pseuds/Rikudera
Summary: “I want my heart back,” Saïx said.“Yes,” Xemnas agreed, “you should have a heart inside of you.” He ghosted his fingers over Saïx’s forehead, studying it, as if he was going to touch the wound himself. “I will make sure of it.“From the first slivered days of a new life in a new Organization, to the golden light of the ever-elusive truth, to the final, bitter ashes of a friendship unrepairable; Saïx searches for a moon, and Xemnas promises to give him one.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Hi hello and welcome to the Byronic Nobody Office Romance that is my Saïx fic. Please mind the tags currently present, as well as future tags yet to be added.
> 
> Thanks to mostlyharmless for advice and encouragement and betaing, as well as the further encouragement from the folks over on Discord.

He woke up not knowing who he was. He barely remembered how he had gotten on the floor, only that his limbs were shaky as he pushed himself up. His forehead throbbed, and he touched his fingers to it only for them to come away sticky with blood. He wiped his hand on the bottom of his shirt and stood up, trying to remember what had happened.

There had been people yelling before, or maybe screaming. Any warning claxons from earlier were silent now. There were voices down the corridor from the room he was in, however, slowly moving closer. Was the crisis over, or had he been moved? He walked slowly over to the wall panel, which still partially worked, sending a few lights flickering on. He was still in the lab.

There had been some terrible violence, too, but he couldn't remember what it was. When he tried to grasp the details, they slipped away into the darkness of his mind, as if they were diving into a pool of deep, black water. He was left only feeling empty. He remembered that Lea had screamed, when it had happened. He had probably screamed, too. There had been other men there, but he couldn't remember—

The door to the lab opened with a hiss. The voices outside had stopped. A man in a long black coat walked in. He looked familiar, somehow. Had they met before?

“You're awake,” the man said, walking up to him. He was very tall, with long, silver-grey hair despite his relatively young age and warm, golden-brown skin. The man’s eyes were a golden-orange, and he gazed intently at him.

“Who—?” he began, but had to stop and push against the pain in his head with his fingers again. He didn't know who he was himself; how was he expected to know who this other man was?

“We’re new people,” the man said. “My new name is Xemnas. You need a new name, as well, don't you?” Xemnas took his wrist and moved his hand away from his face.

Then, with his other hand, Xemnas held his palm up. Small golden letters, I-S-A, appeared.

“Isa,” he repeated. That had been his name. He had lived in the town next to the castle, and his best friend was Lea. They used to eat ice cream together. They had gone to the castle one day to investigate strange rumors of townsfolk disappearing, but what they’d discovered was-

“That was your old name,” Xemnas said. “I will give you a new one.” The letters swirled in a circle until an X was added.

“Saïx,” he repeated again. The men in the lab under the castle had been making monsters from the darkness. They had been experimenting on people from the town, on adults and on children. There had been an accident when his and Lea’s spying had been discovered. Some balance had been overturned. There was a man with a strange blade, only it wasn't a blade, and… They’d tried to run. Lea had always been the faster of the two. Isa had not been as lucky.

“Are you remembering?” Xemnas asked, letting the letters in his palm disappear as his hand fell. His other hand still grasped Saïx’s wrist. Saïx nodded. Now, he was not even Isa. 

“What am I?” He wasn't human any longer, was he?

“A Nobody,” was the reply. “You have no heart.” Saïx pulled his hand out of Xemnas’s grasp to press it against his chest. His flesh was the same on the surface, but it felt hollow, ephemeral. “I speak not of the physical organ, but of the source within you that gave you a sense of identity and emotion. That is why Nobodies like you and I must forge new identities.”

“I want my heart back,” Saïx said. Now that the reason for this emptiness had been revealed to him, it was impossible to ignore.

“Yes,” Xemnas agreed, “you should have a heart inside of you.” He ghosted his fingers over Saïx’s forehead, studying it, as if he was going to touch the wound himself. “I will make sure of it. Nothing is more—”

The entire lab shook suddenly, rattling so hard that things began falling off the shelves. Saïx felt himself thrown into Xemnas, holding himself up by leaning against the other man’s broad chest. How long they stood like that, Saïx couldn't tell; he could only measure the time by the breaking of glass beakers.

“I have to go check on the equipment,” Xemnas said, once the initial tremors had passed. He broke away to walk briskly towards the rest of the lab. “Follow me.” He didn't wait around for a response, so Saïx followed.

They walked quickly down the hall, past rooms and cells of which doors had been left ajar, then made their way up a long set of spiral stairs. They had to stop again on the stairs to wait for more tremors to pass, but Saïx managed to keep his balance against the wall that time. Eventually, they found themselves in a room full of computers.

There were four men there, all of whom immediately looked up at them. Two seemed to be former palace guards, one extremely muscular with a craggy face and short, orange hair, the other smaller, with a scarred face, eyepatch and salt-and-pepper hair in a ponytail. The other two were dressed like scientists, one older with shoulder-length blond hair and the other barely a teen, very pale, with dark hair that covered part of his face.

“Where’s Xaldin?” Xemnas asked.

“Looking for other survivors,” the orange-haired man said.

“I told him there wasn't anybody else here besides us and the Heartless,” the eyepatched man said, “but he seemed like he needed something to do, so I let him go.”

“And the computers?” Xemnas pressed.

“The system itself is as stable as it's going to be after the last power surge,” the blond man said. “It's been sealed from the rest of the castle, so we should be fine as long as the barrier stays up, but the castle as a whole is—”

There was another tremor. Everyone braced themselves against something. Saïx found himself shoved between Xemnas and the wall.

“The castle as a whole,” the blond man repeated, once the shaking had stopped, “is currently being invaded by a witch who has discovered a way to command the excess Heartless.”

“Most of the cameras went down in the initial shakeup,” the eyepatched man added, “so I had to pop my head out for a second or two to check, but that seems to be the gist of it.”

“Then I will find Xaldin and we will all relocate until things settle down here,” Xemnas replied.

“Who’s that?” the dark-haired boy said, staring past Xemnas to where Saïx was still leaning on the wall. Xemnas stepped aside.

“This is Saïx,” he said. “He is the seventh one of us. I'll be back with Xaldin.” Then, Xemnas left the room.

“Lucky break for us, huh?” the eyepatched man said. Not knowing what else to do with so many eyes on him, Saïx attempted to wipe some of the blood from his face. “You ok, kid?”

“It’s nothing serious,” Saïx replied.

“That’s the spirit,” the eyepatched man grinned back. “Oh, hey, since our illustrious leader has neglected to do the rest of the introductions, and since we’re all going to be spending some quality time together, why don't I fill in the blanks for you? My name is Xigbar, mister bigshot scientist over there by the computer is Vexen, the big guy is Lexaeus, and the little guy is Zexion.” 

Again, not quite sure what to say, Saïx nodded. They were obviously Nobodies as well, lacking hearts, but it was unclear how responsible each of them was for the accident in the lab.

Now was not the time for making enemies, though. First, he would figure out how to get his heart back. Then, he would have his revenge on those who had caused its loss.

“Nice to meet you,” Zexion said. Saïx figured from the way Zexion kept staring, though, that it was out of habit rather than sincerity.

“Nice to meet you,” he parroted back.

“Good job, kids,” Xigbar laughed. “Before you know it, we’ll be like one big happy family.” 

“We need to get out of here,” Vexen grumbled. “What’s keeping them?” He kept glancing between the computer and the door.

“Maybe they had to fight off some Heartless,” Xigbar said.

“Heartless don't pursue beings with no hearts,” Vexen retorted. “I said that I was against splitting up, and this is exactly why. If Xaldin has gotten—”

The lab shook again. The rattling was accompanied by shouts from the corridor this time. The first of them was Xemnas, the second one he didn't recognize, and the third was—

“Lea?” Saïx muttered. He hugged the wall as he made his painstaking way to the exit.

“Hey, stay put!” Xigbar called. Saïx grit his teeth and kept going. He had to find out if it really was Lea or not. Beings with hearts weren’t safe here. The shaking continued, longer this time; it was increasing both in duration and frequency.

The shouting was getting closer. Saïx clawed his way to the door jamb, grimacing when he felt the cut on his face pull open again. He had just gotten himself halfway through when he collided with someone’s back. 

It was Xemnas, holding two glowing, red blades, one at his side and one in front of him in a defensive posture. He turned to look back at Saïx over his shoulder, and it was difficult to tell, in that moment, if the shaking stopped, or if Saïx was just holding his breath from the way the red glow reflected off the silver of Xemnas’s hair. Xemnas let his blades dissipate and pushed Saïx back in the room.

The shaking had definitely stopped by the time the other two entered the room. One of them—Xaldin, apparently—was another palace guard, his long, dark hair twisted into dreadlocks and pulled back into a high ponytail. The other, dropping a large pile of black clothing on the floor as he stared back at Saïx, had a bright shock of red hair. It was—

“Xaldin has found the eighth one of us,” Xemnas said. “This is Axel.”

It _was_  Lea, or rather, it was the person who used to be Lea. He had a mark on each cheek now, like two tattoos, but it was him. His eyes were the same bright green as Lea’s. Even his clothes were the same, if slightly damaged from the accident.

“Everyone take a coat and put it on,” Xemnas continued, handing out coats from the pile on the floor to everyone. “We’ll discuss our strategy after we’ve relocated. Vexen, lock the computer; I don't want that witch getting at the research data.” Saïx took the coat given to him and began to zip it up, making deliberate eye contact with Lea — Axel, rather. They would talk later.

“Where are we relocating to?” Lexaeus asked.

“A new world,” Xemnas replied, “between the light and the dark.” He held out an arm: a dark, swirling portal appeared at his fingertips, shadow made manifest. He pulled the hood of his coat up. “Follow me.” Then he disappeared into the darkness.

One by one, men in long, black coats went after him into the portal. Saïx wiped his face free of blood again, pulled his hood up, kept his back straight, and stepped into the unknown.


	2. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> City, structures, and secrets.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Violence warning for this chapter.

The city they had arrived in was dark, rain falling onto tall, angular buildings, hissing softly on neon signs, and collecting into puddles on the pavement. The tallest building on the city’s square — raised on a set of stairs, giant electronic screens on its face turned off — loomed over them like a silent, blind guardian. Some of the other buildings on the square were lit within, but not a soul was visible; there was no movement, or sound, in fact, other than the rain. Beyond the city was a single gray peak of rock.

Saïx looked into the sky, the rain falling on his face and washing flakes of dried blood off. There were no stars visible, though it was unclear if it was due to the rain clouds or not. There was no moon, either, and this Saïx knew with a strange certainty, deep in his bones.

“Welcome, gentlemen,” Xemnas said, “to the world of in-between. Just as new beings are born, the worlds strive to create new shelters for us. This new home may seem strange, but we shall create from it a haven where we can freely pursue our goals.”

“I’d like a haven out of the rain, to start with,” Xaldin replied.

“We need to find new facilities,” Vexen added, “in a location more defensible than the last.”

“Than let us search out what this world has to offer,” Xemnas said. “Heartless won’t attack us if we don’t provoke them, but I don’t want anyone going off on their own. We’ll meet back here in an hour.”

Xigbar immediately began introducing Axel to those he hadn’t met yet. Zexion and Lexaeus went off in one direction after they’d given their names, Vexen doing the same before joining Xaldin off in the opposite direction.

This exploration was the perfect opportunity for Saïx and Axel to split from the group, pool their information, and make a plan. If Xemnas knew of a way to get their hearts back, then they would get that information from him one way or another. After that was revenge, and then finally making their exit.

“Saïx, come with me,” Xemnas said, putting a hand on Saïx’s shoulder and leading him away. “Let’s get out of the rain.”

“But I need to—” He hadn’t even gotten the chance to re-introduce himself to Axel. And yet even as he was protesting, Xigbar was chattering away and giving his name for him anyway.

“Xigbar is taking care of it,” Xemnas said, pulling Saïx’s fallen hood back over his head. There was no point in rousing suspicion now when he could always talk to Axel later, so Saïx acquiesced. They began walking down one of the streets, away from the square.

When they got to the first lighted building, Xemnas stopped and tried the door. Saïx stood near him, under the neon, finally catching a waterlogged glimpse of his reflection in the nearby window.

His hair was still the same pale blue, brushed back from his face and falling to his shoulders, albeit soaked flat from the rain. His ears were more pointed than they used to be, and his eyes had a different sheen that he couldn’t fully determine in the neon light.

Most prominently, the cut on his face was much larger than he’d expected. It ran in two long slashes, crossing over the bridge of his nose in a large X. He gingerly touched a hand to it, wiping a bit of blood away with a wet finger. At least there was no forgetting the extra letter in his new name, now.

“This building is locked. We should move on.” Xemnas returned to stand behind Saïx, at least a full head taller, the reflection of his bangs from within his hood catching the flickering neon lights. “It will heal faster if you don’t touch it.” Saïx put his hand back down at his side, and the two of them stood like that for another moment. “Does it hurt?”

“It's fine,” Saïx replied. It was less distracting than the ache in his chest.

“Good,” Xemnas’s reflection smiled. “We should keep searching.” Saïx nodded. They kept going.

The next building was much like the first; there was all the appearance of normality, but it was impossible to tell if anything actually lay within. It was difficult for Saïx to hold his observations back.

“This world doesn’t have a moon yet,” he said.

“Yet?” Xemnas turned to him slowly, and they stopped walking.

“Yet.” It was an incomplete world, just as the beings within it were incomplete.

“How do you know?” Xemnas asked.

“It would have spoken to me if it were here,” Saïx replied. He didn’t have the words to explain this new sense he’d gained, or how he knew of the _yet_ , but he was certain it was the truth.

“It seems that a number of us gained new powers when we were born,” Xemnas said. Saïx remembered the red glow of the blades Xemnas had summoned back in the lab. “We’ll determine what yours are once we’ve found our new base of operations.” He began walking again, and Saïx joined him. “In the meantime, stay close to me and remain alert; I’m certain we’re being followed.”

“By heartless?” Saïx looked around. “I can’t sense any.” There was no telltale hint of dark smoke to be found, only the same vast emptiness of the city itself.

“By something else,” Xemnas answered. “Perhaps we are not as alone as we thought.” They paused in front of another building, the front door just slightly ajar. “This one’s been unlocked for us.”

The interior of the building was trying to resemble a cafe, but the tables and chairs were shoved into a corner, the counters and shelves barren. There was a small stage at one end, an unplugged microphone standing in front of an empty chair.

“A hollow refuge from the endless downpour of a hollow world,” Xemnas said, letting the hood of his coat fall down and freeing his hair. “Perhaps our observers will feel more apt to speak with us if we make ourselves more approachable.” Saïx took his hood off as well.

There was a faint sound from behind the counter.

“Let’s see who’s here,” Xemnas said. He walked around the counter to move behind, and Saïx followed.

On the floor, huddled shivering together, were two white creatures.

“Hello,” Xemnas smiled. “And who are you two?”

 **_Who are you. Two._ **  The words came from one of the creatures, who didn’t speak so much as make words silently. It had a closed zipper where its mouth should be.

“My name is Xemnas, and this is Saïx.”

 _**We are we. No names. No hearts.** _  A third creature emerged from the door to the back of the cafe. It shivered as it stood, its concave chest undulating in something that was almost breathing, the thin appendages on its hands flopping at its sides, bound together with straps. Saïx turned so he and Xemnas were back to back. Isa’s toy bat had long since been discarded in the lab at Radiant Garden, and Saïx didn’t know how to fight with his new powers yet.

“Easy,” Xemnas murmured as he held on to Saïx’s wrist. Then he spoke to the two in front of him again. “We also have no hearts. We’re Nobodies, just like you. We should form an alliance, don’t you think?”

 _**Do you remember.** _  The creature at the door spoke.

 _**Do you remember your heart.** _  A sitting creature echoed.

“Yes,” Xemnas said. “The only difference between us is that we remember being human, with hearts.” It was obvious that there were many differences between the two of them and these irregular, white creatures, but it was equally obvious that an alliance was preferable to gaining enemies on this world, too.

_**Hearts. Hearts. Hearts.** _

“Do you want your hearts back?” Xemnas asked.

 _**Yes. Yes. Yes.** _  What Nobody would answer otherwise?

“I know how to get them back,” Xemnas said. There was the sound of movement behind Saïx; the other two creatures must have stood up. He held his breath. “But I’m going to need your help to make that happen. Do you think you can help us?”

_**Hearts. Hearts. Hearts.** _

“I’m going to take that as a yes,” Xemnas said. Saïx released his breath as Xemnas let go of his wrist. “Our Organization needs defensible facilities so that we can carry out our research and work towards our goals. Do you know of a place where we can do this?”

The creature in front of Saïx wiggled its way towards the exit. Saïx turned to watch the other two slither over the counter and follow it. Xemnas quickly jumped the counter to follow them out; Saïx, not knowing what else to do, followed suit. More of the white creatures emerged from buildings and alleyways to join them as they chased the first three down the streets.

Eventually, they ended up back at the foot of the stairs of the city’s tallest building, which was exactly where they’d started. Xigbar stuck his head out of the building, and quickly came down the steps. Right behind him was Axel.

“What’s all this?” Xigbar asked.

“I’ve found us new allies,” Xemnas said. “They wish to help us in our goals.” Saïx glanced at Axel for the briefest of moments; they would discuss this later, too.

 _**The skyscraper of memory. The watchless watcher. We will give it to you.** _  It was impossible to tell if the creature that spoke was one of the ones from the cafe.

“Listen,” Xigbar said, “we’ve checked that place out some, and I don’t think it has the capacity to support a full research facility. We could try rerouting power from those big screens, but there’s a good chance you’d just fry everything in the process.”

“Then this will be our temporary shelter until we can build our new headquarters,” Xemnas replied. He turned to the shivering white creatures. “Will you help us build our new home?”

They seemed to discuss between themselves for a few moments.

 _**We forgot our homes. Tells us what home will be, and we will help you build it.** _  Xemnas seemed to consider this for a moment, then smiled.

“I want a castle,” he said. “On that mountain.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

They moved into the tallest skyscraper. Xemnas began discussing with the white creatures - dusks, they called themselves - the plans for their new castle on the mountain. As the others returned, they joined in with their own suggestions.

“And what would you like?” Xemnas asked Saïx when it was his turn. They were leaning over roughly sketched diagrams, and Xemnas was alternately adding rooms and jotting notes down.

Saïx had been arranging the second floor for some small computers and basic work tables. Vexen and Zexion were busy debating what the new labs would require, and Xaldin and Lexaeus were in the other room explaining to a few dusks what defensive ramparts and training areas they would need. Saïx and Axel had been tasked to help Xigbar with the layout for their temporary facility, though they had a handful of dusks to aid in the heavy lifting. Axel was currently on the sixth floor arranging the interim dormitory, and Xigbar was on the third working on non-lab portions of the temporary work facilities.

“I want a room where I can see the moon,” Saïx said. What he meant was that he wanted his heart back, but Xemnas looked like he understood.

“I had that in mind for you from the beginning,” Xemnas said, “but you should know that I can’t make that happen right away.”

“How long will it be?” Saïx asked. Xemnas knowing how to get their hearts back was of little use if he didn’t have the means.

“A few years, at least,” Xemnas answered, lowering his voice. “There’s a key resource we need to acquire first, and that will take time to find.” He didn’t specify further, which meant that Saïx would have to stick around until he found out what that resource was. This also meant that he would have to be a part of this group for much longer than he’d originally planned.

That, and Saïx would have to actually help the men who were likely responsible for the loss of his heart. If Xemnas knew the secret of how to regain a heart, then Saïx needed to make himself the person Xemnas trusted with his secrets. He had to become indispensable. That was the quickest way to getting his heart back.

“I don’t mind waiting,” Saïx said, “as long as it happens.”

“You said yourself that there would be a moon eventually,” Xemnas replied. “I see no reason why that wouldn’t be the case. And I told you when we met that I would make sure you had a heart.” He began to raise a hand to Saïx’s forehead, but apparently thought better of it and lowered it back down to the table. His voice regained its normal volume. “Is there anything else you’d like to have specifically for your rooms in the castle? We’ve got quite a bit of space allotted to each of us.”

“I’d like a training room that’s more isolated,” Saïx said, “so I can practice without worrying about holding back or being interrupted.”

“Almost everybody seems to be asking for one of those,” Xemnas said, the corner of this mouth quirking up. “We’ll just make them part of each personal suite along with the bedrooms.”

“I don’t need a large bedroom,” Saïx said, “if that will leave more space for a practice area. Just enough room for a bed, a dresser, and a few bookshelves.” There were a few other essentials as well, if this was going to take a few years. “We should have a library, too.” Saïx saw Xemnas start to write notes again, and quickly went into more detail. “If the dusks are able to get enough material to build the castle itself, then they should also be able to help us collect information until the new computers are built, as well as maintain what can’t be digitized. And there should be a separate computer for administrative purposes, so that everything in the castle still functions if something happens to the new lab computers.”

“That’s a good idea,” Xemnas said. “Then we won’t run into the same problem we had in Radiant Garden. You sound like you’re familiar with operating computers.” This was a prime opportunity for Saïx to present himself as someone Xemnas could rely on.

“I’m pretty decent at them,” Saïx replied. “I’d have to study more if you need me to operate any specialty programs that were used in the old labs, but I’m familiar enough with database work.” He’d had to make Isa’s high school studies and part-time job in inventory at the accessory shop sound more sophisticated, somehow. “And I’m pretty good at fighting, too, at least against the people I’d been practicing with.” He’d usually won against Lea, at least. “Whatever I don’t know, I’m sure I can pick up quickly enough.”

“I can see that you’re not afraid to speak up for yourself,” Xemnas commented. From some men, that might be a warning against hubris, but if Saïx wanted the trust of a man with no heart, there was no point in worrying about emotional responses. The only things Xemnas would respond to were cold, hard facts.

“If we’re going to be committed to the same cause,” Saïx said, “then I’d like to be helpful to you in whatever capacity I can.” Xemnas seemed to mull this over for a moment, as he looked back at Saïx.

“I appreciate that you have an eye for the long term,” he said eventually. “And the honesty is refreshing.” He wrote some notes down. “We’ll have a better idea of what you can do once we’ve found out what everyone’s new powers are. If training areas are required, we can use one of the upper floors.” Was Saïx being rebuffed after all?

“Xemnas— sir, I can—”

“But I’m certain you’ll be fine,” Xemnas finished, a smile ghosting across his face for a moment. Then it was gone, and his tone was all business. “Go get Axel for his turn.”

“Of course,” Saïx answered just as brisk. Xemnas obviously wasn’t the kind of person to say all he was thinking, but perhaps Saïx was doing well, after all.

There were a few more hours spent checking electrical systems and arranging furniture with Xigbar and Axel. It was nearly impossible for Saïx to get a moment alone with Axel, never mind discuss at any length what had happened in the lab. It always seemed that Xigbar had a task for one of them, or was out of sight but most certainly still within earshot.

The most Saïx could do was catch Axel’s eye when Xigbar had his head poked into a particularly tangled set of wires in an exceptionally dark and dusty corner behind the control panels for the large televisions on the outside of the building.

 _Tomorrow_ , Saïx mouthed silently. _Lea_.

Axel held his gaze and winked, then went to go help Xigbar. The entire thing took five seconds.

That matter settled, they worked for a few more hours before a small dinner of bread and cheese brought by some dusks, followed by a rock-paper-scissors tournament for who got the shower first. Xigbar won. The temporary sleeping quarters were divided into two halves, and while Saïx was able to stay with Axel, the additional presence of Zexion and Lexaeus made any true privacy impossible.

The sooner they were able to move into the castle, the better.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The next day, Xemnas sent Vexen, Xaldin, and Xigbar back to Radiant Garden to retrieve equipment and data from the labs. While Xemnas continued to plan the castle’s design and attempt to direct the dusks, Saïx and Axel were tasked to the new lab setup this time. It mostly consisted of Zexion telling them what to do, and if Saïx were capable of having moods anymore, he would have called that one annoyance.

“Move that one away from the wall more,” Zexion was saying. “The arm at the top needs to be able to move at least two more feet from the center.”

“Thanks for telling us earlier,” Axel grumbled. “Hey, Saix. Come and help me with this thing.” Saix put a piece of equipment back into the bin he was sorting through, and together, the two of them pulled the machine away from the wall, the metal feet scraping loudly on the concrete floor, the joints of the large, claw-tipped-arm rattling above their heads.

“Be careful,” Zexion said. “That’s a delicate instrument. We don’t know yet when we’ll be able to get additional parts, so we certainly can’t afford to have things breaking now.” He interspersed his comments with smatterings of typing on the bare-bones computer that had been set up that morning and scribbling notes down onto a pad of paper. The computer didn’t currently do much besides read and sort data from the discs he kept feeding into it, but he’d been in front of it for hours without budging.

“Perhaps you’d like to help us, then?” Saix suggested, looking back over his shoulder at Zexion. “The sooner we finish this setup, the sooner we can help you connect it with the computer.” He didn’t particularly enjoy being bossed around by a kid, but if he and Axel would be staying here for an extended period of time, it would be better if they got along with the other members.

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Zexion replied, “I’m very busy checking to see how much of this data’s been corrupted, and what’s still salvageable from this mess.” He pulled his current disc from the computer, placed it in the stack of completed discs, and picked up the next one to be opened.

“Then perhaps we should be assisting you with checking the data integrity first, if that’s the more critical task.” This would also give Saïx a chance to look at the research data.

“ _No_ ,” Zexion said quickly, shoulders hunching as he pulled the disc close to himself. Then he deliberately relaxed and fed it into the computer. “I highly doubt you two have the knowledge base necessary to interpret this data at the level required,” he added in a bored tone, typing quickly. “Just finish setting those machines up for now, and I’ll let you know if I require your assistance with anything else.”

“If that’s what you prefer,” Saïx said in an equally bored tone, turning back to the claw machine and glancing surreptitiously at Axel. Axel was already returning his gaze, his lips silently pressed together in a flat line.

The data on the heartless experiments was crucial to understanding what had transpired in the labs of Radiant Garden, and Zexion’s insistence on secrecy only added to the suspicions Saïx already had. What Saïx still needed to determine, however, was how to get ahold of that information without being suspected himself. This was exactly why he and Axel needed to be able to talk about what had happened, as well as what their plan would be going forward.

But they couldn’t talk in front of Zexion, or anyone else. There was no telling yet who was to blame for what had happened. Right now, they only had each other.

It was pure luck, twenty minutes later, that Vexen’s group returned with more lab equipment.

“You’re back earlier than I expected,” Zexion said, when Vexen came in, followed by a gaggle of dusks.

“It wasn’t entirely by choice,” Vexen replied, walking briskly to a still-open section of the lab. “These dusks simply don’t have the finesse or intelligence required to follow the instructions we’ve been giving them. I’ve spent half my time devoted to babysitting instead of assessing items for transport.” He turned back to the dusks. “Start bringing the things we took from the other lab into here. _Gently._  And don’t drop anything.” The dusks started forming a bucket line, tossing little bits of equipment from the other room to the nearest table. “Gently, I said!” Vexen caught one of the items. “I said before that throwing was expressly forbidden! Stop!” The dusks stopped, awaiting new orders. “Now you see what I’m working with, Zexion. I can’t trust them not to break anything. Perhaps you three can—”

“Get Lexaeus and Xaldin to do it,” Zexion said, not moving an inch from his computer. “They almost ran the claw into the wall earlier because the base wasn’t placed correctly.”

“Hey,” Axel said, putting his hands on his hips. “All you told us was to move that thing against the wall. You should try giving better directions, next time.”

“I’m terribly sorry,” Zexion replied, still typing away. “I merely assumed you were better at following directions than the dusks. It won’t happen again.” Axel bristled.

“Now wait just a—”

“Axel,” Saïx interrupted. Axel frowned at him. “I’m sure that Zexion is only being so uncooperative because he’s impatient to have the lab rebuilt exactly the same as it was. We can go find Lexaeus and Xaldin, if that’s a better use of everyone’s time.” He waited for Axel to grasp what he actually wanted.

“ _Do_  go find them, thank you,” Vexen said to Saïx.

“Of course,” Saïx replied, tugging Axel’s arm to get him to follow. As they passed by the dusks and out of the room, he heard Vexen start talking to Zexion again.

“Honestly, Zexion, how many times have I told you not to speak to your elders like…”

Axel turned to glare at Saïx as soon as they were out of sight of the dusks.

“Great job backing me up there,” he groused.

“Let it go for now,” Saïx replied, looking for an empty room. “We need to talk,” he added, much quieter.

“No, we need to—” Axel cut himself off this time, pulling Saïx into a small, disused room and shutting the door behind them. “We need to get out of here,” he hissed. “I don’t want to just sit here while they _build another lab_.” He dropped his grip on Saix’s elbow and splayed his fingers over his own chest. “You know exactly what’s happened to us. Who knows what’ll happen next time?”

Saïx knew that there had been a lab full of machinery and a hallway full of cages. What he remembered from the lab were the monsters and the hearts; what he remembered from the hallway was Lea’s scream. The memory of pain blotted out his memory of everything else.

“Xemnas told me he knows how to get our hearts back,” Saïx said. Axel went still. “That’s why the dusks are following him, and it’s why we need to stay for now.”

“You believe him?” Axel whispered back, keeping his eyes trained on Saïx but no longer protesting.

“I know he knows something,” Saïx insisted. “I know it’s important, and I intend to find out what it is.” He was _going_  to find out, one way or another. “The only way to find out the truth is to stay.”

“And once we find out?” Axel prompted.

“Then we give whoever’s responsible what they deserve.” Saïx smiled; he knew it wasn’t a nice smile.

“Gotcha,” Axel said, grinning back.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

A welcome break from minutiae arrived when Xemnas declared that it was time to test everyone’s new powers. Xigbar and Xaldin were put in charge of Zexion, Lexaeus, and Vexen, since they had already used their weapons or powers. Xemnas oversaw Saïx and Axel’s training himself.

“First,” Xemnas said, once the three of them were in one of the cleared-out upper floors, “call your weapon or weapons to your hand. It may be of a type you are already familiar with, though the form will most certainly be different.” He immediately demonstrated this by bringing those glowing, red blades of his to each hand, one on each side. “Thusly.” Then, the blades were dismissed. “Now, it’s your turn. Think about taking your weapon out to fight.”

Saïx had wondered if it would be difficult to find a weapon he had never before seen or held, but it was as easy as breathing. His new sword dropped into his outstretched hand like it _wanted_  to be held. The claymore was silver, shot with streaks of blue and yellow, the blade wide, its tip exploding in a starburst of spikes. It was easier to balance the weight with his usual reverse grip, which would hopefully give him some extra speed. He’d need it, if Xemnas was going to have him spar with Axel, which was the next likely course of action.

And some distance away, Axel brought two red-and-silver bladed wheels into his hands — chakrams. None of these new weapons were the toy bat or blunt throwing discs of Isa and Lea’s youth. There was no longer a city square for them to play in. Beings without hearts could not play. Saïx felt no need for a repeat of arrogant quips such as those between Isa and Lea, anyway. It would be easier to gain Xemnas’s trust if he addressed Axel solely as a coworker.

“Excellent,” Xemnas said. “Now, I want you two to practice with some light strikes.” And there it was. “I don’t want either of you to attempt anything too strenuous right off the bat; just get a feel for the shape and balance of your new weapons.”

“That seems easy enough,” Axel grinned, looking at the bladed wheels as he twirled them in his hands a few times. “Glad these aren’t too different.” Then he gripped his weapons firmly and turned his attention back to Saïx. “You ready?”

“Of course,” Saïx responded, sliding into his usual sparring stance. “Are you?” Axel’s grin flashed wider, and Saïx took that as his cue to lunge forwards.

Metal clanged on metal as they began to spar, meeting each other in strikes before retreating, adjusting their approaches, and attacking once more. Saïx made sure to spend most of his attacks figuring out the range and speed of his new weapon, and judging from Axel’s counter-attacks, the other was doing the same. Sparring in this manner also made it easier to hide the fact that they had already known a great deal of each others’ moves before this fight, which should keep Xemnas from growing suspicious of them.

Still, Saïx couldn’t help wanting to see if he could catch Axel off-guard at least a little. He feinted another practice swing to Axel’s left side, and then turned his wrist at the last second to adjust the trajectory of the blade, sending it flying right towards Axel’s stomach. Axel blocked the blow at the last second, but he was forced back, teeth gritted. Saïx let himself flash a smirk back. There was something grounding about knowing that, despite how much had changed for the two of them, that at least he could still beat Axel in a fight.

“Good,” Xemnas said. “Now, let us see what kinds of magic you can do.” He raised a hand, and black-and-white thorns wrapped around it for a moment, before winding away into nothing. “You should be able to find it the same way you found your weapons.” Axel immediately copied Xemnas’s movements, staring at his own hand until a ball of flame burst to life in his own palm.

“Nice,” Axel said, looking back at Saïx with a grin. “Pretty neat, right?” Saïx remained still, holding onto his claymore. When he thought about the capacity for magic, the space behind his eyes just ached like the void in his chest.

There was no moon on this world. He couldn’t reach anything inside of him. What was he going to do?

“Saïx, it’s your turn,” Xemnas said. He was expecting Saïx to prove he had magic ability. Saïx had to be able to show _something_  if he wanted Xemnas to think he was useful.

“There’s no moon on this world,” Saïx said, gripping the handle of his claymore tighter.

“You should not require a specific celestial body to produce magic,” Xemnas said. “You need to be able to fight no matter what world you’re on. Try again.” Saïx squeezed his eyes shut in an attempt to concentrate, but it only made him more on-edge.

“It’s not working.” When Saïx opened his eyes again, Axel was casually tossing his little ball of fire from hand to hand. This didn’t seem entirely fair.

“Very well.” Xemnas sounded like he was trying not to be disappointed, and Saïx tried not to think of how much of a disaster this was turning out to be. “Perhaps another battle will bring out your abilities. We’ll trigger it deliberately until you can learn to do it yourself. Proceed.”

“Gotcha,” Axel said, dissipating his ball of fire, only to bring his chakrams back out, wreathing them in flames. “Let’s go.”

If Axel was trying to help Saïx, he was doing a pretty poor job of it. It took a lot more effort to block or dodge the chakrams when they were on fire, and Saïx still didn’t feel like he was any closer to reaching his magic. Every clash of metal-on-flaming-metal was like another wave of frustration, like it was all Saïx could do just to keep up.

“You should be able to use your magic now,” Xemnas called out over the sounds of the two other Nobodies sparring. Saïx swung his claymore at Axel, but Axel easily jumped out of the way. His head was starting to pound. “Use your magic, Saïx,” Xemnas repeated, sharper this time.

“I’m _trying_ ,” Saïx retorted, gritting his teeth as he blocked a chakram Axel threw. The chakram bounced back, Axel catching it frustratingly easily. It was easy to say _do magic_  when all you had to pull off was a basic fire spell, but Saïx didn’t know how to activate his magic when there wasn’t even a _single moon_  in the _entire world_.

“This is fun, huh?” Axel grinned. Saïx swung at him again, and Axel used the momentum to spin around and swipe at Saïx’s other side, forcing Saïx to push him away again. _Axel_ , who had _agreed_  to _work together_ , was practically dancing _circles_  around Saïx as if _Isa_  hadn’t been the one to wipe the _floor_  with Lea _all_  the _time_.

“Saïx,” Xemnas said. “Do it.”

“I _said_  I was—” Saïx growled, something not quite irritation bubbling up under his skin and behind his eyes, and as he locked weapons with Axel again, it ripped its way to the surface in a blinding golden light.

xxxxxxx

**Something about him is wrong. Something is wrong, and it’s somebody’s fault. Someone is to blame for what he is.**

**Who is to blame?**

**WHOSE FAULT IS IT THAT WHAT I AM IS WRONG he tries to say, and it comes out as a scream.**

**There’s someone in front of him with weapons in his hands. Is it his fault that Saïx is what he is? Saïx feels his own blade light as a thought in his hand, and he brings it forward to attack. It slams into his opponent’s bladed circles, shoving his opponent back with a golden shockwave. Saïx immediately follows through with another attack, slamming his blade into the floor and sending out another shockwave that tosses his opponent in the air like a ragdoll. Another swing of Saïx’s blade and his midair opponent crashes against the wall with a shout.**

**WHAT HAPPENED TO ME Saïx’s words turn into growls as he stalks forward quickly. His opponent pushes himself to his feet, weapons braced in a defensive position. Saïx flings him off his feet and to the floor again with a flick of his blade. WHY WON’T YOU SAY ANYTHING TO ME he can’t turn his screams into speech. WHY ARE YOU JUST SITTING THERE WHY WON’T YOU DO ANYTHING**

**His opponent says something, but it just sounds like gibberish to Saïx right now. He’s scrambling back, still on the floor, as though running away could possibly save him from Saïx’s fury.**

**I WON’T LET YOU RUN AWAY FROM ME Saïx screams again.**

**Another man interposes himself between Saïx and his prey, a glowing blade in each hand.**

**WHOSE FAULT IS THIS Saïx attempts, focusing his rage now against his new opponent. This man is able to meet his attacks, weathering the shockwaves with a steady determination. Saïx pours every bit of his excess energy into the lethal swings of his blade, not resting for a moment while there is someone in front of him still breathing. His new opponent’s defense is frustratingly impenetrable, compared to his last opponent. WHY AM I WRONG Saïx, having no capacity or inclination for defending himself in this state, only continues to expend his energy with frustrated swing after frustrated swing.**

**It’s then that his new opponent sends Saïx’s blade flying out of his hand to clatter on the floor, grabbing Saïx by the arms as the blade dissipates to whence it came from.**

**IS THIS YOUR FAULT Saïx, rendered immobile, simply keeps screaming into the face of the man holding him still. He can feel the man’s fingers digging into his skin. WHAT DID YOU DO Saïx can feel blood trickling down his face from the open wound on his forehead. He can’t tell if the man is saying anything back or not.**

**WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME Saïx keeps screaming into the man’s face until his excess energy is spent and exhaustion finally overtakes him.**

xxxxxxx

When Saïx woke up, he was swaying on his feet, held in someone’s arms, his head resting on a tall, solid chest.

“Welcome back, Saïx.” As if he’d left the house for groceries or something.

“What…” Saïx rasped, throat raw. He blinked up to Xemnas looking down at him, the faintest hint of a smile on his face. “What happened?” Saïx had no idea why he was so exhausted, but figured that he should at least be able to stand under his own power, so he took a step back, still blinking. He wiped at his wet face and came away with blood on his hand; the cut on his forehead must have opened up again.

“You went nuts.” And that was Axel. Saïx poked his head around Xemnas to see the redhead on the floor, bloodied and wide-eyed. Xemnas, apparently satisfied with Saïx’s ability to now stand, went over to help Axel up as well.

“I’m fairly certain the technical term is _berserk_ ,” Xemnas said.

“Your eyes were glowing, and you started screaming your head off like a lunatic,” Axel said. “And you were pretty much trying to kill me.” He was clearly shaken, still keeping his distance.

“I really…?” Saïx started. Why would he attack Axel?

“Yeah, you really did,” Axel answered, just short of snappish. “Are you telling me you don’t remember?”

“I…” Saïx blinked tiredly again, then looked to Xemnas, who was clearly handling this situation better than anyone else. Why was Axel looking at him like that? It was so hard to think when he was this exhausted. Saïx found himself swaying on his feet again. He watched Xemnas walk back over to him briskly.

Oh. Lea had always been touchy about that, hadn’t he?

“I didn’t mean to forget,” Saïx told Axel, and then promptly passed out into Xemnas’s arms again.

The next few minutes were hazy, until Saïx found himself in the middle of drinking an elixir. When he looked over at Axel, he was finishing his own restorative drink. By the time they were finished, Saïx’s head was clear once more.

“Hey, Saïx,” Axel said, voice casual once more, “how about we don’t do that ever again, alright?”

“I’d rather not do that again, either,” Saïx answered, unable to stop himself from grimacing.

“Saïx, you’ll train one-on-one with me until you have better control of this berserk state,” Xemnas said. “Axel, you’ll train with Xigbar. I won’t have any more close calls like this.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The smut will be next chapter, I promise.


	3. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Saïx, in his race to a coveted leader-adjacent position, formulates and executes a plan that blows the competition out of the water.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally, some actual sexy stuff, liberally sprinkled with machinations. Enjoy, folks~

The day the castle admin computer was active, Saïx made sure he started learning how to use its custom programs. Standing next to Zexion and Xigbar, scribbling furious notes while Xemnas explained its capabilities, he also made sure to remember which parts were specified as being different from the original lab computer in Radiant Garden. If Zexion was going to be closed-mouthed about previous research, then Saïx would work backwards until he had access to better information.

It was also helpful that Xemnas was amenable to all of Saïx’s questions. Some of his questions were delegated to Xigbar for answering, since he was most familiar with the differences between the new castle’s plans and the more archaic quirks of the old castle, but Xemnas was more than happy to explain what he expected of the new system.

“...So while this system will be able to share the electronic database and talk with the new lab computer system,” Xemnas continued, “there will be additional safeguards in place for each system to shut down all contact in case of any technical emergency or security breach.” Saïx continued taking notes. “This can be independently activated from either direction, of course.”

“And then the other system will be notified when this occurs?” Saïx asked.

“Yes, very good,” Xemnas said. Saïx wrote that confirmation down, too.

“Will the first system also be cut off from the database records, in such an event?” Saïx asked.

“Obviously. That's one of the main points of having multiple systems,” Zexion added with a smile. His voice was conversational, but Saïx didn’t miss the sharp gleam in his visible eye. Like Saïx had asked. “The computer in Radiant Garden had no capability issues with the form it was in. As it’s absolutely vital that our research continue uninterrupted, this is merely an extra security measure.”

“But seeing as the breach on the castle side of things was what permanently damaged the old lab computer,” Saïx replied, equally cordial, “isn’t it important to learn from previous mistakes?” He could play this game too, if that was what was required. “I don’t think anyone wants such an upheaval again.”

“While I appreciate the fact that you’re attempting to learn the system,” Zexion said, “it’s really better if you don’t make assumptions about systems that you don’t have firsthand experience operating just yet.” They kept their cordial expressions fixed as Saïx idly wondered what sound Zexion would make if he got his smug little face slammed into the computer keyboard. “As someone who’s worked heavily with the old system, I can assure you that’s not the case.”

“Well, since the fact that the old system _did_  fail tells us that its flaws should be corrected as soon as possible,” Saïx shot back. “I don’t think we should be so careless as to dismiss the vast opportunity for improvement available to us, and—”

“Well, I don’t think you—”

“Gentlemen,” Xemnas interrupted, “while these are indeed two separate programs, it is important to remember that they function together to work as a whole towards a unified goal. And we must also remember,” he looked in turn at both Saïx and Zexion, “that while we may come from different backgrounds, we are now all part of one family. As such, we must also continue to work together.”

“That means,” Xigbar said, “that you kids should be playing nice with each other. We’ve got quite the haul ahead of us, so let’s try to make the best of it.”

“Of course,” Zexion said. “I wouldn’t think otherwise.” He was still smiling.

“I agree completely,” Saïx lied.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“By the way,” Saïx said casually one morning, as Axel was hitting the half-broken coffee maker to get it to start, “I’ve finally decided on a name for my new weapon.”

“Really,” Axel responded flatly.

“Lunatic,” Saïx said, smiling just enough for Axel to catch it. “You’re an inspiration.” Axel stared at him flatly for a moment, then turned back to the coffee maker.

“Your sense of humor sucks,” Axel groused, hitting the machine again. “I’m doing my best here, but is this really what you’re gonna make me deal with? This is total betrayal, man.”

“I knew you’d like it.”

“I was talking to this piece of junk coffee-maker, not you,” Axel said, shooting him a grin. Maybe they couldn’t talk too much without arousing suspicion, but if they could at least have moments like this every now and then, it would make the wait for their hearts a little more bearable.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The next day’s computer lecture was interrupted by Xigbar yawning, loudly.

“Something on your mind?” Xemnas asked.

“It’s just that we’ve been at this for two hours now,” Xigbar said, stretching. Xemnas raised an eyebrow.

“These systems are going to be an integral part of our organization’s day-to-day functions. It’s imperative that they be managed as intended.”

“Yeah, I’m sure these two nerds are real interested in hearing you talk for multiple hours about this like the illustrious leader we all know you are,” Xigbar replied, “but I already know how this stuff works, remember? I don’t need the remedial course.”

Xemnas lowered the eyebrow he had previously raised. Saïx shared a glance with Zexion; the kid was still annoying, but at least they both knew how important it was to see how Xemnas dealt with his subordinates. In fact, it was possible that Xigbar was testing this as well, and that Xemnas, in turn, knew he was being tested.

“Very well,” Xemnas smiled. “If my explanations are boring you, then I’ll have Vexen take over for you for the rest of the day.” Yes, Xemnas _definitely_  knew this was a test for everyone present, and he was certain he had the upper hand, too.

“That’s very accommodating of you, Mister Superior, Sir,” Xigbar said.

“You’ll of course take over Vexen’s tasks for the rest of the day,” Xemnas continued, still smiling.

“And what tasks are those?”

“Going over the dusks’ daily collection efforts, correcting their errors, and then updating the report for tomorrow’s collection efforts.”

Xigbar stopped smiling.

“You know that talking with the dusks is like trying to herd really stupid talking cats that call everyone ‘Lord’ this and ‘Lord’ that.” Was he still protesting?

“And yet they must be taught,” Xemnas said. “In fact, since you so are clearly concerned with the education of the dusks rather than concerned with helping me teach these two,” Saïx really didn’t want to be compared to a dusk, “you can do it tomorrow as well. I was originally going to have tomorrow be Lexaeus’s turn, but you can do it instead.”

“Everyday, you exceed my expectations,” Xigbar said with a frown.

“I’m not done yet,” Xemnas said. “Since we still need to make sure that these two are brought up to speed on the new system changes, I’ll have them explain what they’ve learned to you, both functionally and with explanations of practical applications. Then you’ll give me your report of their assessments. How does that sound? Much better, yes?”

“Wonderful,” Xigbar sighed.

“Go get Vexen,” Xemnas said briskly.

“Of course, _Lord Xemnas_.” Xigbar left. Xemnas turned back to Saïx and Zexion.

“Now, do either of you have any questions about your assessments with Xigbar?”

“Will it just be a written report,” Zexion asked, “or is there a verbal component as well?”

“Both written and verbal.”

“Do you want us to include the details Vexen is helping with also?”

“You should include all relevant material to your example applications. Hm...” Xemnas paused a moment as if in contemplation. “I believe that would be a yes, then. Any further questions?” Saïx did have a question, but wasn’t sure if it was wise to ask or not. “Excellent. I want to make it clear that I will always encourage you to speak your minds about the work you’re given, though you will ideally do so in a manner more polite than Xigbar’s behavior just now. This organization will operate best if each member is able to contribute in the manner that best suits him, so please don’t hesitate to ask for an adjustment to your work if you find room for improvement.” He let out a brief chuckle. "I think this will be of benefit to everyone, myself included.”

“Sir?” Saïx asked. As if he knew what Saix was reluctant to ask, Xemnas smiled.

“I don’t like to be bored, either,” he said.

Then, he continued the lesson exactly where he had left off. Saïx continued to pay attention.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Even training with Xemnas was going relatively well. It was nice to get into a bit of a routine after the initial upheaval. Saïx still had the near-embarrassing tendency of apparently not being able to speak during his berserk rages, but at least he was getting better at not passing out after the state wore off.

“Saïx, are you back? Can you stand?” Xemnas was holding him up again. It was becoming a familiar part of the berserk cycle; Xemnas would goad Saïx into the altered state, Saïx would wear himself out in his frenzy, and Xemnas would be there to help him recover his strength afterwards.

“I’m fine,” Saïx answered, wiping his forehead clean of the slight trickle of blood; fighting in the berserk state kept opening his injury up. “I’m just a little dizzy.” He spent another moment catching his breath before attempting to stand under his own power. “Did I say anything?”

“Not this time,” Xemnas answered. “We’ll pick this back up again tomorrow.” He reached out to wipe a spot Saïx had missed. Saïx felt his legs threaten to jellify again when the seam of Xemnas’s glove brushed against the slowly-healing cut on his forehead. “Careful.” Xemnas caught him again, his hands back on Saïx’s arms, and Saïx let himself rest his hands on Xemnas’s chest to help hold himself up.

“I wish I could remember more.” Saïx had to crane his neck up to look Xemnas in the eye when he was leaning on him so closely. That was the most frustrating part of the whole thing: Saïx was aware enough to know he kept trying to talk, but it was impossible for him or anybody else to translate his growling into coherent speech. That was the more disorienting, between the screaming and the exhaustion.

“You’ll get the hang of it in time,” Xemnas said, looking back down at Saïx with his golden-orange eyes. “We just need to be patient.”

“Of course, sir,” Saïx said, his feet now steady but his hands still splayed across Xemnas’s broad chest.

“You should get some rest,” Xemnas said, letting go again. “There’s always next time.”

“Yes, sir,” Saïx said, dropping his own arms after another moment and leaving to go take his post-training shower.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

In another few weeks, the individual rooms were complete enough for them to move in. The labs were still just a skeleton frame, which Vexen was loudly unhappy about, but Xemnas had listened to Saïx’s suggestion about the castle admin system, and the dusks were almost done with it. And they didn’t have to sleep four to a room anymore. Saïx was very, very eager to have some privacy, at last.

As the new lab computer was still being reconstructed from the remains of the Radiant Garden one, most of them turned their focus to loading in the supplies brought by the dusks. Before that, however, was sorting out what was actually useful from what was just trash. The dusks, not being particularly intelligent, got things wrong a lot. They got it wrong so often, in fact, that Saïx ended up spending more time directing and clarifying their instructions than he did organizing the equipment and supply lists. The important thing, though, Saïx reminded himself as he _once again_  tried to decipher the supplies the dusks were trying to carry into the castle, was that they were finally moving in.

“Before we go in,” Xemnas said as he turned to face everyone else waiting to enter the castle, “I would like to say a few words.”

“Put that down,” Saïx said to two dusks who were carrying an uncomfortable-looking couch, “The Superior is speaking.”

 **_Lord Xemnas is speaking._ **  At least they were more comprehensible than before.

“At last, the day has come when we can reside in our new abode,” Xemnas declared. He spoke so the crowd could hear him, spreading his arms wide. “No longer are we lost in the wilderness of the unknown, driven to seek shelter from the disconsolate devastation of the trials of our former lives. We have seized the opportunity ahead of us firmly in our grasp, building a new Organization that strives to gain what is so dear to us, the culmination of our tireless efforts thus far.

“We must must all rely on each other from now on to complete this noble goal, and it is by remaining dedicated to this camaraderie that we will surely see our fondest wishes carried to completion. Let us look upon this day as the first of many steps in our new beginning, as we continue to venture forth together, into the glorious future that awaits us.” Some of the dusks clapped.

“Now, let us form teams,” he continued, speaking to the actual members of the newly-dubbed Organization themselves; that is, everyone wearing a black coat. “Zexion, you will be in charge of directing the lab portion, and you will have Vexen and Lexaeus on your team. Saïx, you will direct the private and communal quarters, and you’ll have Xigbar and Axel on your team. Xaldin, you’ll be assisting me with directing continuing construction and inventory acquisition with the dusks. Is everything understood?” He received various nods and affirmations.

Saïx had not been expecting that assignment, but he was eager to seize the opportunity and jump to the task. He was especially glad to not have to work with Zexion again. He also knew that Xigbar’s presence would prevent him from talking with Axel about anything at all, but that was fine. Saïx didn’t want to find out that he’d lost his chance to get a heart back because they’d rushed things and made a stupid mistake.

Once they had split into groups, Saïx started looking over the pile of items and furniture relegated to the living spaces and private room of the castle. There was even drapery.

“Alright,” he said, “Let’s try and divide this up by room.”

“Sounds good,” Axel replied. “So like, kitchen stuff and bathroom stuff and room stuff?”

“I was thinking we should complete the kitchen first,” Saix said. “After that’s done, we can start on the bedrooms and bathrooms.” He looked over the pile. “I think this is the fridge. Help me unbury it.” Axel walked over and the two of them started moving chairs and a shower curtain off of it. Unfortunately, the fridge itself was too heavy for them to move. Saix looked around for Xigbar; he was still poring over another part of the pile with concentration, and perhaps even a bit of concern. “Xigbar, can you help us with this, please?” Xigbar didn’t answer. “We may need the dusks to help.”

“Gotta have a big enough fridge to feed eight people, I guess,” Axel commented.

“Xigbar?” Saix prompted again, louder. “Is something the matter?”

“Yeah,” Xigbar said, “What happened to the popcorn maker?”

“ _Popcorn maker?_ ” Saix mustered all the scorn he could into his voice.

“Well, _duh_ ,” Xigbar replied. “As if I’m going to live like an animal any longer, now that we have a castle again. What happened to the popcorn maker?”

“I think it’s, uh, over in the ‘to-go’ pile,” Axel said. Xigbar promptly retrieved it.

“Much better,” Xigbar said. Saïx resisted the temptation to roll his eyes. “So now that you’re the one who’s been put in charge, what do you want us to do first?”

“Since you’re so concerned with the… popcorn maker,” Saïx replied, “let’s start with the kitchen.” He’d been planning to do that, anyway.

“Great!” Xigbar said. Saïx nodded; finally, they could get to work.

With a snap of the fingers, a sufficient number of dusks were summoned, and they began moving in.

“Oh, by the way…” Xigbar continued.

“Yes?” Saïx prompted.

“Xemnas also informed me,” Xigbar said, “that we’re supposed to make a report to him at the end of each day on our status until we’ve completed the moving-in process.”

“A report?” Axel asked, frowning and wrinkling his nose. “Sounds like another word for homework.”

“No, school kids do homework,” Xigbar corrected. “Adults do reports.”

“That’s fine,” Saïx said. “How long does it have to be?”

“Eh, as long as you cover everything,” Xigbar shrugged. “A page or two is probably fine.”

“There’s nothing stopping us from working together to finish the report, is there?” Saïx asked. “That way we make sure we’ve covered all the relevant information?”

“Oh, us two can give you input just fine,” Xigbar replied, gesturing to himself and Axel, “but since you’re the guy in charge of this project, you’re gonna have to slap the actual thing together yourself. That’s an important part of the honor of being put in charge. Any organized group has gotta keep their paperwork all organized-like, too.”

“If that’s how reports work, then I think I like reports more than I liked homework,” Axel grinned. Saïx again resisted the urge to roll his eyes.

“It sounds straightforward enough,” he said. “And I _will_  be getting info from you two later, but in the meantime, let’s get to work.” With that, Saix turned to the dusks and had them start moving furniture inside the castle.

Drafting and writing the report of their moving progress became easier each subsequent day, and by the third day, he wasn’t even asking Axel or Xigbar for help with anything more than the stray detail or clarification here and there. Summarizing the report as he read it to Xemnas each evening before dinner was also becoming a routine. Saïx and Zexion would wait in the lounge that Xemnas was using as an impromptu office until Xemnas had extricated himself from the dusks for the day. They did not speak to each other while they were waiting — Saïx made sure this was the case by reading over his notes until Xemnas arrived — and it was always a relief when he could leave for dinner.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“Sir,” it was Saïx’s turn that day to help Xemnas asses the supplies that the dusks had brought, “perhaps the dusks would be more successful if they received more specific instruction on what they’re supposed to bring before we send them out. They could be more efficient in the future if we correct their mistakes as early as possible.”

“I assume you have a plan to do this?” Xemnas asked.

“While we were moving everything into the castle, I made a list,” Saïx explained as he brought it out, “of the things they get right more often, the things they usually get wrong, and the more borderline cases.” Xemnas walked over, and Saïx handed him the list. “As you can see,” Saïx pointed to the relevant columns he’d jotted down, “these are the areas the dusks tend to get tripped up on more often, but if you look over here,” he pointed to another column, “they did very well when their instruction was more carefully monitored.”

“This is valuable data,” Xemnas said. “These are exactly the kind of statistics we should be monitoring, and I want you to keep monitoring it so that we can track the dusks’ improvement.”

“I was planning to, sir,” Saïx said, “and I’ve come up with a proposal for that as well.” He handed Xemnas another paper with the information.

“Excellent work, Saïx,” Xemnas said. “Now, I want you to test this proposal and report the results to me at the end of the day.”

“Of course, sir,” Saïx answered. Things were certainly looking up.

“Zexion, I want you to help Saïx with his proposal,” Xemnas added.

Dammit.

“I’d be happy to, sir,” Zexion said, smiling.

“Good. Now, let me go give the other members their tasks for the day.” Xemnas turned and started walking away, muttering to himself. “That means I’ll have Vexen run the lab today, and then Lexaeus and Xigbar can… damn, but what about…”

Zexion’s smile remained until Xemnas was out of earshot, and then it vanished and he fixed an immediate and critical eye towards Saïx.

“Don’t think I don’t know what game you’re playing,” Zexion accused.

“Are you talking about the fact that I’m better with the dusks than you?” Saïx asked. If Zexion wasn’t even going to bother being polite, then he didn’t have to be nice to the little creep, either. “Unless you still weren’t aware that it was a problem was to begin with?”

“I don’t know what makes you think you can give the Superior suggestions regarding the Organization so freely,” Zexion said. “Personally, I think you’re an opportunistic liar who doesn’t even belong in our ranks… but that’s not the what the problem was, of course.”

“You’re sitting on far too high a horse for someone who hasn't even graduated middle school,” Saïx said. “It's almost as if you decided to blame me for your own incompetence when _the Superior_  recognizes I’ve done nothing but help the Organization from the beginning.”

“He’s going to find out that it was your fault we're here in the first place,” Zexion accused, “you trespassing little sycophant, and when he figures out everything he needs to know about you, he’s going to get bored of you just like he does with every other puzzle he’s solved.”

Zexion had no way of knowing that Saïx couldn’t remember exactly what had happened before he lost his heart, but he was _sure_  that it hadn’t been his fault. It was _someone’s_  fault, but it couldn’t have been _his_. All he remembered was running and the look on Lea’s face when he screamed and—

That didn’t matter right now, though. It was more important to make sure that Zexion didn’t know his and Axel’s plan. If he could be kept from knowing about Saïx’s memory loss, too, that was merely an added bonus.

Unless Zexion didn’t remember everything that had happened, either.

“I think you should spend less time worrying about me,” Saïx said, “and more time hoping the  Superior doesn’t figure out what’s _your_  fault.” Zexion’s visible eye flashed a momentary glare. “I know for a fact that I’m less boring to him than _you_  are, so I imagine I’ll be here quite a while.” There was no way he was going to forget Xemnas promising him a moon.

“We’ll see,” Zexion retorted, condescending smile back on.

“I suppose we will,” Saïx answered coolly.

At least the dusks gathered around them were still too stupid to blab to anyone about this conversation.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

It was difficult to sleep, that night. Saïx’s nightly routine had been the same as usual, but as he’d lain in bed, going over his dilemma in his mind, he simply couldn’t close his eyes. After twenty minutes of this, Saïx eventually got back up and walked through the door to his private training room. He stared out the large windows and into the moonless night, watching the neon lights of the city below the castle flicker in the dark through the rain, trying to make a plan.

It should still be his primary concern to make himself indispensable to Xemnas. The more Xemnas replied on Saïx, the more information he would share. If Zexion was already suspicious of Saïx, however, then Saix had to also make sure he couldn’t act on those suspicions. The ideal solution was to raise his status in Xemnas’s eyes at the same time as he lowered Zexion’s status. Having the majority of lab computer info hidden from him made it harder to track exactly what Zexion’s previous role had been, but hopefully his own control over the administrative computer would be able to counteract that.

Administrative… There had to be something there that he could work with. Saïx began to pace as he thought this through.

Xemnas wanted Saix and Zexion to be able to operate the two new computers, so it was logical to assume he had administrative and technical roles for them in mind. Xemnas had also responded well to Saix’s suggestions regarding the dusks, and those could reasonably be classified as administrative concerns. Xemnas obviously didn’t want to direct the dusks’ day-to-day activities himself, or he wouldn’t keep passing that job around to a different member each day, so Saïx didn’t see Xemnas objecting to his request to take on that job. If Saïx was able to both control the computer and direct the dusks in a more permanent capacity, then he would essentially have control over most of the castle management.

Of course, there was the problem where the Organization focusing too heavily on lab research would not only lower the status of administrative concerns but also potentially put them all in danger and force them to move a second time. Saix didn’t know enough about the content of the lab research yet, but he could at least work on lowering its overall influence until he had more information. Another concern was that Xemnas would still technically be the one commanding the dusks, but if Saïx played his cards right, he would be able to influence how the dusks responded to their commands.

Saïx could see Xemnas agreeing to his requests regarding the management of the castle, but those two things alone weren’t going to be enough if his real goal was to find out Xemnas’s secrets and use them to get his heart back. He had to gain permanent leverage over Zexion, and he had to work his way towards moving past whatever the nature of Xigbar’s influence was. Most of what Xigbar _appeared_  to do for Xemnas was just rephrase the orders Xemnas gave after he gave them, but in a ruder way. That certainly wasn’t beyond Saïx’s ability to accomplish; it was like a glorified version of telling the dusks what Xemnas wanted them to do.

Saïx stopped pacing.

There was no difference, he realized, between giving the dusks orders from Xemnas and giving other Organization members orders from Xemnas. It was arguably easier, even, to pass on orders to Organization members. If Saïx was able to give everyone orders from Xemnas, there was no way Zexion would be able to protest without calling Xemnas into question as well. It wasn’t completely foolproof - no plan truly was without fault - but if Saïx pulled it off, it would likely be very successful for quite a while.

Now that he’d decided on his initial goals, Saïx had to figure out how to convince Xemnas to agree to all of this. As Xemnas was without a heart, any emotional appeals to him would be useless. But he still had a mind, and he still had a body. Saïx would have to approach him from those trajectories.

What connections did Saïx have with Xemnas that no one else did? Connections that related to Xemnas’s mind, or to his body? He had his promise of a heart and a moon, and he had his private combat training sessions. Those would be the key to winning Xemnas’s favor.

Saïx thought about the time that Xemnas had almost touched his face, a quiet island of a moment amidst the chaos of that first day in the skyscraper, and he thought about the way Xemnas had laughed during the computer lesson, when he said he didn’t want to be bored. He thought about Xemnas’s hands on his shoulders as he surfaced from berserk in their spars, the golden-orange of his eyes as he looked at Saïx through his silver bangs. He thought about the expanse of Xemnas’s chest under his hands as he regained his balance, how measured his deep voice was, even though Saïx could feel it rise and fall under his fingertips from the exertion of battle through the leather of his coat.

Saïx realized that it was his own chest that was rising and falling this time, his own hand down his pajama pants as lay back on his bed and recalled the memory of their latest training session. He couldn’t even remember walking back to his room. But he didn’t want to stop. He kept stroking himself, closing his eyes as he imagined their next encounter.

There was going to be another training session tomorrow. Xemnas had said that he would continue to push Saïx into berserk until he gained control of it, and so Saïx knew that he would inevitably end up being held by Xemnas again. He was looking forward to it. He anticipated the upcoming clash, the flood and drain of energy throughout his body that berserk brought on, the reverberation of Xemnas’s words through his fingers as he spoke, the way Xemnas might press Saïx close if his legs were too shaky to work, and how in those first few seconds before he regained coherence, Xemnas’s gaze was so focused on him that Saïx could see himself wake up in the reflection of Xemnas’s eyes, and…

Saïx bit back a cry as he came in his pajama pants.

Maybe Saïx could do something with this realization, as well. He suspected that he might not be in control of himself enough after training to carry out a plan right then, but that didn’t necessarily mean that he couldn’t do anything tomorrow. He knew that Xemnas always spent an hour or two in his new office after dinner; he could propose his plans for castle management then.

As for _how_ he would propose the idea… Saïx now had a plan for that, too.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The next day, Saïx executed his plan. He gathered the papers he’d been working on, walked to Xemnas’s office, took a deep breath, and then knocked on the door.

“Come in,” Xemnas called. Saïx walked into the office and shut the door behind himself.

Xemnas’s office was in the same style as the majority of the castle, composed primarily of steel beams, white stone floors, walls painted in white and silver, and floor-to-ceiling glass windows facing the city at the base of the mountain. The only things that weren’t white or silver were Xemnas’s black leather chair and the sleek mahogany desk and guest chairs.

“How can I help you?” Xemnas asked. Saïx gripped the papers in his hands more tightly and walked up to Xemnas’s desk.

“I wanted to speak with you about a few things,” Saïx answered. He then immediately reminded himself that confidence was the key, here. As long as he presented his proposal in the right way, Xemnas would be convinced. It was harder to appeal to a man with no heart, but it wasn’t impossible. “I wanted to update you on the progress of the dusk program.” He handed the top few papers to Xemnas.

“You’ve compiled the data sooner than I expected,” Xemnas commented, taking the papers offered to him and looking them over. Saïx watched his face as he read. “Are you certain you’ve collected a large enough sampling?” Saïx had been ready for this question.

“Being able to observe and direct the dusks for a longer amount of time consecutively has helped with regard to eliminating interruptions and abnormalities. With more consistent data, I was able to identify the more problematic areas much faster than if I’d only been able to guide them for one day at a time.” Xemnas was nodding along; Saïx kept going. “Having Zexion help observe and record the data also allowed me to focus on applying different tactics and monitoring their results.” There was no issue in discussing Zexion’s involvement as long as Saïx made sure to emphasize the fact that everything was his idea. It also had the added benefit of making Saïx appear more supportive of Xemnas’s push for teamwork. “Here are the results so far of the strategies outlined in my last proposal.” He handed the second set of papers to Xemnas.

“I can see the consistency with your initial proposal,” Xemnas said. “This is very thorough; consider my previous concerns allayed.” He put the papers down on his desk. “Would you consider that you’ve collected enough data on this?” He looked back at Saïx.

This was a test, wasn’t it? Saïx knew, by now, that tests could come without warning in this organization. Fortunately, he had anticipated that question as well.

“I think that the dusks still need a more stable direction,” Saïx said. “If they’ve become this much more consistent just from having direction from the same source, then we should continue to maintain this stability while we teach them how to respond to their tasks. I’d like to request more time to continue to work on this.” Then he handed the final paper over. “I don’t think the same level of rigor will be mandatory as we go on, but I’ve sketched out a schedule I’d like to follow, with your approval, of course.”

“So you plan to carry out the next stage of this project yourself?” Xemnas asked. Saïx had taken the liberty of removing Zexion from his current spot as research assistant. He had also added the private training sessions back in.

“As I said before,” Saïx responded, “the extra set of hands was helpful in corralling the dusks initially and assisting in recording data, but I’m confident that I can carry out the continuing plan myself from here on out. Zexion is better off in the lab, anyway.”

“I’d intended to have you and Zexion share the computer duties,” Xemnas said, mouth turned slightly downwards. It was difficult to tell from his expression whether he was displeased or simply contemplative, but Saïx had no intention of leaving without presenting his case in full, anyway.

“That part wouldn’t change,” Saïx replied. “But the behavior of the dusks will affect all the organization's activities, not just the lab research. You should place Zexion where he can do the work he’s best at, and you should let me help you with your administrative concerns. If you let me direct the management of the castle and the dusks, then you’ll be free to focus on the things only you can do.”

“And why should I agree to this proposition?” Xemnas asked.

“Because I want my heart back more than he does,” Saïx said. Xemnas raised an eyebrow.

“That’s a bold statement.”

“I’m prepared to back it up.” Saïx knew that with no heart, Xemnas could not be swayed with an emotional appeal. But he still had a mind, and he still had a body. “I told you the day we met,” Saïx stepped forward around the desk and rested his hand on Xemnas’s chest, “that I wanted to make myself useful to you.” He let his hand drag downwards, letting his eyes follow it until it came to rest on the font of Xemnas’s pants, and then he cast his eyes up again. “In whatever way you desire.”

Xemnas raised his other eyebrow as well. This was either going to be the smartest or the dumbest thing Saïx had ever done, but he knew that he wasn’t going to get anywhere at all if he never tried.

“I’m listening,” Xemnas said.

“I knew you would,” Saïx said. This was _working_ ; he’d better keep going. He rubbed against Xemnas’s crotch with his hand, trying to get a feel for what lay within. “I knew that you would understand.”

“Did you, now,” Xemnas replied, the corner of his mouth quirking up. He was quite the handful, apparently.

“You have a lot of ideas,” Saïx continued, steadily caressing Xemnas through his pants, “but you don’t like having to worry about all the details involved because you think it’s a hassle.” He added his other hand in too, deciding it was better to nudge up the zipper on Xemnas’s coat, unzip his pants, and free his slowly growing erection before it became too unwieldy. “You prefer to think about the bigger picture.” Now, Saïx was able to stroke Xemnas’s hardening length in earnest. His other hand then moved back up to rest on Xemnas’s chest. He didn’t think Xemnas would want him to rush this, well, _proposition_ , but it also gave him a better handle on where he wanted the conversation to go.

“There may be some truth to that,” Xemnas said, leisurely pushing his hips back into Saïx’s hand, “but how do you plan on helping me, hm? What do you plan to do?” He brushed a section of Saïx’s hair back behind his shoulder and then let it trail to hold onto Saïx’s other arm. It was both nearly identical to and completely different from the way he had held Saïx in their last training session.

“I can direct the dusks for you,” Saïx said. “They listen better when they have consistency, instead of passing that around like a chore.” He leaned into Xemnas, his hand still moving over Xemnas’s erection. “I can manage our supplies. I can help hand out everyone’s tasks in the morning.”

“You want to hand out everyone’s daily tasks?” Xemnas asked, looking down at Saïx, his hips not pausing in their slow thrusting. His expression made it so hard to read what he was thinking. “Do you intend to help decide what those tasks are?”

“If that’s what you want,” Saïx replied. “Things are only going to get busier from here, and you’re going to want help.” Staring at Xemnas for so long made his knees feel weak, so he let himself sink down onto them. “You should let me help you.” He paused for a moment, breathing against the hard length only inches from his face. Then he licked a long stripe, from the base all the way to the tip, watching Xemnas’s face carefully.

“I think you know what I want right now,” Xemnas said. Saïx opened his mouth around Xemnas’s length and began to suck. He was finally rewarded with a sigh from Xemnas and a hand in his hair. He didn’t think he could fit the whole thing in his mouth at once, so he took it in as much as he could and used his hand to make up for the rest. “Good, Saïx.” Xemnas was smiling. Saïx felt himself flush, but kept moving his mouth. Xemnas gripped his hair more strongly, apparently wanting to set the pace himself, and Saïx did his best to comply. “Very good.”

“Mmh.” Saïx couldn’t speak right now, but he wanted Xemnas to know that he liked the grip on his hair. Xemnas obviously liked it too because the muffled sound of Saïx moaning around him only made him thrust faster. “Mmmmhh.” Then, it was just the sounds of Xemnas’s breathing, the soft slap of his coat against his legs, and the wet slide of his hardness in Saïx’s mouth. Saïx didn’t have any attention to spare for the tightness in his own pants because it was taking all his concentration to deal with Xemnas’s considerable length. All the while, Xemnas kept that enigmatic smile on his face.

“Very good,” Xemnas said again, his tone of voice giving little indication of how uneven the movement of his hips was becoming. Saïx gave another little whimper around his rock-hard member in return. That seemed to be what did it, Xemnas gripping Saïx’s hair roughly and finally closing his eyes, thrusting sharply two more times before spilling hot into Saïx’s mouth. Saïx swallowed it as best he could, and then, when the grip on his hair was finally loosened, made sure to lick the rest clean. “I think your suggestion has merit, Saïx.”

“It’s reassuring to hear you say that, sir,” Saïx replied, licking at his lips one more time as he stood back up. “I think you’ll be very satisfied with the results I deliver.”

“If your performance today is any indication,” Xemnas said, smiling one more time, “I’m looking forward to exactly that.” He tucked himself back into his pants. Then, his voice was all business. “Come back and see me tomorrow morning for the list of everyone’s assignments.” That was the signal for Saïx to leave, for now.

“Yes, sir.” Saïx showed himself out, glancing back at Xemnas just once before he left his office, and then promptly went to the nearest bathroom that allowed him to shower and jerk one out.


	4. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Saïx starts his new role, and progress is made.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dubcon warning for a later scene in this chapter.
> 
>  
> 
> Many thanks as always to my beta mostlyharmless! This chapter ended up a lot longer than I originally intended it to (which is part of why it took so long to finish), but I'm pretty pleased with how it turned out. I hope you guys enjoy it.

The next morning, Saïx woke up early so that he could get a copy of the daily orders from Xemnas. He didn’t bother sitting down and eating a full breakfast of whatever the dusks had decided to defrost today, just grabbed some coffee and something that looked enough like waffles and peanut butter to be edible. He ate fast, before anyone else could have the chance to enter the kitchen, and then walked to Xemnas’s office, hoping that he wouldn’t be seen.

“Come in,” Xemnas said, when he knocked on the door. Had Xemnas also gotten up early to make sure this morning’s mission briefings went off without any snags? Or had he been looking forward to the time when Saïx would come to claim the daily agenda? Either possibility had its benefits, though contemplating one of them had threatened to make Saïx’s cheeks redden as he sucked down his morning coffee just a few minutes ago.

In any case, Saïx was about to find out Xemnas’s plan for him that day.

“I’m here for the daily mission briefing, sir,” Saïx said as he entered and strode to where Xemnas was sitting at his desk.

“Good,” Xemnas replied. “I appreciate the punctuality.”

“Thank you, sir,” Saïx said. “I want to make sure this is a success.”

“As do I,” Xemnas said. “Now, let me explain to you what tasks I intend to have everyone complete today.” He picked up a clipboard with some papers off his desk and showed them to Saïx. “You’ll of course give out the assignments from the lounge, as I’ve been doing, but I want you to make sure you explain each member's task to them thoroughly. These are the points I want you to pay special attention to.”

They went methodically through each assignment on the daily list, making sure to leave as little room for confusion as possible. Saïx noticed that his own assignment for the day was not there, but decided to wait until Xemnas was done explaining everything else before he asked.

“...And that’s everything for today,” Xemnas finished, handing Saïx the clipboard. “Do you have any questions?” Saïx took the clipboard and spent another few moments formulating his thoughts.

“I happened to notice,” Saïx commented, “that you didn’t put my tasks for the day on the list.”

“That is because I plan on giving you instructions directly,” Xemnas responded. “For today, all I want you to do besides your project with the dusks is give the other members their missions, check in with them to make sure they’ve completed their tasks, and give me a report at the end of the day on how everything went.”

“No training today, sir?” Saïx asked.

“I want you to focus on your new tasks today, Saïx. It’s better that we catch any potential hiccups as soon as possible.”

“Understood.” That was a bit of a pity. Still… “Was there anything else you wanted right now, sir?”

Xemnas stared at him for several interminably long moments, and every single one was filled with Saïx’s memory of the previous night.

“...No,” Xemnas said eventually. “Not right now.”

“Very well, sir,” Saïx said after another moment.

“I’ll see you this evening for your report,” Xemnas said. Or maybe the day would still have surprises in store, after all.

“Yes, sir.” Saïx gave a short bow, then left.

He went immediately to the area where everyone usually gathered to accept their missions for the day. There were already a few members there waiting; Xigbar was standing, and Xaldin was sitting on one of the uncomfortable-looking couches.

“Good morning,” Xaldin said.

“Good morning,” Saïx responded automatically. He scanned over his clipboard one more time. “I have your assignments for the day here.” He handed a paper out to Xigbar, who was closer.

“ _You_ do?” Xigbar asked, walking over to look at the paper Saïx was handing out. “Where’s Lord Xemnas?”

Saïx didn’t know why Xigbar thought it was so funny to call Xemnas by the title the dusks used. Still, it would probably make the conversation go smoother if Saïx followed Xigbar’s form of address.

“Lord Xemnas has instructed me to give out the missions he’s assigned to each member for the day,” Saïx replied. “I will also be collecting your mission reports at the end of the day and passing them on to him for review.” He wasn’t sure what Xaldin’s reaction would be, but with any luck, Xigbar would support it if Saïx made it appear to have been Xemnas’s idea. “As Lord Xemnas wants to be able to focus on the larger strategic goals for our organization and our headquarters, he’s directed me to handle the mission briefings for him.”

“The boss man’s gotta know when to delegate, I guess,” Xigbar shrugged. “Lemme see my stuff.” Saïx handed Xigbar his mission paper, which Xigbar immediately scanned over. “Yeah, this is all the same as usual.”

“Do you have any questions about your mission?” Saïx asked. “Please let me know if I can help clarify anything.” He walked over to where Xaldin was and handed that briefing over, as well.

“Nah,” Xigbar said, “I’ve spent enough time deciphering his writing that I know what he wants me to do.”

“It matters not to me how Xemnas decides to give out my orders,” Xaldin said, “as long as he reviews my work in the end.” He stood up and made a dark portal. “I’ll be back this afternoon with my report, as usual.” Then, he left. 

Xigbar was still looking over his mission briefing.

“Are you sure you don’t have any questions?” Saïx pressed. “I received a very thorough explanation of everyone’s tasks this morning for that very purpose.”

“That’s real helpful, kid, but it’s not necessary,” Xigbar said. “I just wanna look it over some more while I finish getting into the zone.” So he just wanted to hang around and be nosy, per usual.

“If you insist.” Saïx wasn’t in a position to deal with it just yet, so he didn’t waste time worrying over it.

The others soon trickled in. Vexen immediately demanded a more detailed explanation when one was offered, which Saïx promptly gave, and then left for the labs. Lexaeus, who had come in at the same time as Vexen, listened to Saïx’s explanation silently, took the paper with his orders, and began to read them over. Axel and Zexion were the last to come in, both still holding their morning coffee. 

“Breakfast is over, kids,” Xigbar said. “Stop stunting your growth and start starting your missions.”

“Vexen emptied the coffee pot without refilling it,” Axel said. “We had to wait for a new one to finish.”

“Where’s the Superior?” Zexion asked.

“The Superior has instructed me to hand out the daily missions for everyone from now on,” Saïx said. “All reports on those missions should come back to me as well, so that I can pass them on to him for review.” He held out Zexion’s mission paper for him to take.

“I’m going to continue taking my orders directly from the Superior, thank you,” Zexion said, not taking the paper.

“I don’t really see what the difference is,” Axel said. “Saïx, can you hand me my mission sheet?”

“Here you go.” Saïx temporarily took Zexion’s paper back and gave over Axel’s.

Thanks,” Axel grinned. Maybe they’d have time today to have a real talk.

Saïx turned back to Zexion.

“The Superior’s orders are that I hand out the information for the daily missions and collect the reports,” he said. “He’s also given me additional details, so if you are confused about any aspect of your mission, I can explain those things for you.” Zexion smiled in an extremely fixed manner. “Please don’t hesitate to ask; it’s very important to the Superior that the system he’s put in place is followed properly.” He held the paper out again.

“What exactly are you doing here that’s of added value to our Organization?” Zexion asked. “This is an excuse for you to just stand there instead of working, and it’s a waste of everyone’s time.”

“On the contrary,” Saïx replied, smiling back, “this is enabling the Superior to focus on directing the Organization as a whole. If you’re doubtful of the plan he’s put in place, then let me reassure you that my assisting him in daily mission orders and the administration of the dusks will enable you to focus on your work in the labs.” The silence around them indicated that everyone was watching them, but Saïx kept his gaze on Zexion.

“You’re free to go tell the dusks anything you like,” Zexion said, “but I for one don’t care to humor this—”

“But it doesn’t really matter if you care to do it or not, does it?” Saïx interrupted. “Since this is what the Superior wants done.” Zexion’s smile vanished. “Please take your mission details.” It was quite easy for Saïx to remain smiling, however.

“This is the most—”

“Zexion.” This time it was Lexaeus’s turn to interrupt. He walked up to Saïx and took the paper himself. “Let’s get to work.” Lexaeus and Zexion stared at each other in silent communication for a few moments, and then Zexion took the paper from Lexaeus.

“Good _morning_ ,” Zexion said to Saïx, glaring. 

“Good morning,” Saïx responded, because he could. Then Zexion turned and stalked off, Lexaeus following close behind.

“Alright,” Xigbar said as he stretched, “guess we gotta get to work, now that the show’s over. Come on, Red, we’ve got training to do.” He started for the the training rooms.

“Can’t I finish my coffee first?” Axel asked trailing after him.

“Only if you finish drinking it before I finish walking.”

“Ugh, fine.” Axel turned to look at Saïx over his shoulder. “We’ll see you later with reports and junk.”

“Excellent,” Saïx replied. Axel nodded with another grin, and then left.

What a satisfying morning. Saïx let his fingers drum against his clipboard a few times, and then he left the lounge to go corral the dusks.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Saïx didn’t have a chance to talk with Axel about his new role until that afternoon; he’d spent most of the day having the dusks start rebuilding the castle’s new library, since the one in Radiant Garden was now inaccessible. It still required most of his attention to make sure they actually did things resembling what they were told, but Saïx tolerated it because he knew that it was going to pay off later. Not only would this project result in Saïx’s greater access to the Organization’s body of knowledge, it would get the dusks used to listening to him without question.

“So I guess I’m supposed to turn my report in to you now?” Axel said, once Saïx had sent the dusks away from the library and gone back to the lounge to collect reports.

“That’s correct,” Saïx replied. Axel handed him the report, and he started idly skimming it over.

“Seems like a big responsibility,” Axel added casually. “Think you can handle it?”

“Of course,” Saïx said. “The Organization is going to make a lot more progress, this way.” He was in actuality speaking about the plan between the two of them, but Axel’s smile was a confirmation that he understood Saïx’s true meaning. The sound of footsteps approaching from the hall told him there wasn’t enough privacy for him to explain how exactly he’d acquired the additional responsibility, but it was probably better if he kept that part to himself, anyway, for security purposes at least. “I’m confident the results will bear out.” Axel would understand.

“Then I am, too,” Axel replied. “See you at dinner.” Then, he left the lounge.

Zexion, Vexen, and Lexaeus walked in as Axel was leaving.

“Good afternoon,” Saïx said. Zexion silently walked up to Saïx, handed in his report, and left again without a word. Lexaeus was equally silent, but that was neither as out of the norm for him nor as entertaining.

Vexen, on the other hand, refused to shut up.

“If I’m going to be delivering my reports to you instead of the Superior,” Vexen was saying, “then I want to make certain that you understand exactly what it is I am reporting. I also want to impress upon you the importance of pages five, seven, and fourteen, as well as the connection between today’s observations and my observations from two days ago.”

“If it’s in your report,” Saïx replied, thumbing through the report and trying to find its end, “I’m sure the Superior will read it carefully.” As for himself, Saïx was not particularly looking forward to slogging through at least _fourteen pages_ in a single evening, but perhaps learning Vexen’s scientific writing style would be useful later on, when he could get access to more classified records. “I’ll make sure to pass your sentiments on to him.”

“See that you do,” Vexen continued. “I spent a great deal of time and effort obtaining that data and putting it together, and let me tell you, that was no small feat with the utterly woeful state of the labs these days.” This was without end. “On top of all the construction that’s still going on, I still don’t have all the equipment I need to properly conduct my experiments. It’s vital that we acquire replacements for—”

“Excuse me,” Saïx interjected. Xigbar and Xaldin had just walked in, and Saïx left Vexen to walk over to them. “Have you completed your reports for today?” he asked them.

“Yup,” Xigbar answered. “Here you go.” He handed exactly two pages over to Saïx.

“Thank you,” Saïx said. 

“See that Xemnas reads this,” Xaldin said, handing his own three pages over.

“Of course,” Saïx replied. “Now if you’ll excuse me.” He left the lounge before Vexen could start talking again.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“Thank you for your report, Saïx,” Xemnas said, once Saïx had finished aggregating and distilling the data from all the reports that day. That was probably Saïx’s cue to leave.

“Of course, sir,” Saïx replied, beginning to gather the papers on the desk. “Was there anything else you wanted?” Saïx looked up from the papers just in time to see Xemnas smile slowly.

“Perhaps,” Xemnas said, turning in his chair to face Saïx more fully. Saïx put the papers back down, holding his breath. “Come here, Saïx.”

Saïx allowed himself a smile in return. He walked around the desk, settled himself in between Xemnas’s spread legs, and finished the day’s work.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The second day of his new role was almost the same as the first, only Saïx actually got to train with Xemnas again. The difference was that he lingered in Xemnas’s arms for several extra moments.

“Are you able to stand?” Xemnas was asking him.

“Yes, sir,” Saïx replied, still leaning his head heavily on Xemnas’s chest. He could feel Xemnas chuckle through the throbbing of the opened cut on his forehead.

“The evidence suggests otherwise,” Xemnas said, lifting Saïx’s chin up with his hand. He frowned. “You’ve injured yourself again.”

“It doesn’t hurt,” Saïx insisted. It was only difficult to focus, that was all. “I just need to—”

Xemnas ran his finger along the cut, and Saïx felt a new wave of dizziness wash over him, cutting off his speech as he tried to catch his breath.

“Are you certain you’re alright?” Xemnas asked.

“I’m fine.” It wasn’t pain that Saïx was experiencing, it was… something else. He didn’t know how to describe it, only that it was like a buzzing in his veins where the moon should be, but wasn’t. Would he have the words for these after-effects of berserk, if he was still in the throes of it? Would having the words matter if he didn’t know how to speak them?

Would he be so helpless to the whims of berserk, if he could find the moon? Would having a moon matter, if he had no heart to reach it with?

Saïx realized that he’d nearly passed out again. He took a deep breath, and then extricated himself from Xemnas. It was easier to pull himself out of the post-berserk mindset and think clearly when he wasn’t preoccupied by Xemnas’s arms around him.

“My apologies,” Saïx repeated, giving a slight bow. “I’ll do better next time.” His progress had been absolutely abysmal today.

“It’s really quite alright,” Xemnas said. “We can try again tomorrow. Take a break, for now; I’ll speak with the dusks, and you can resume your duties in the afternoon.”

“But—“

“Saïx. Please get some rest.”

“Yes, sir.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Saïx threw himself into the dusk project that afternoon as soon as he could, trying to make up for the lost time. He spent the entire afternoon portion in the lounge categorizing the lists of books that had been requested, hoping to find a pattern that would clue him into the lab activities, but quickly determined that information was useless on its own when Zexion was still hoarding all the electronic data.

He checked, double-checked, and then triple-checked the reports from the other members, and then triple-checked his own reports before he allowed himself to go see Xemnas in his office again. Perhaps it would make up for the stalled training progress.

“I see these are as thorough as always.” Xemnas said, reading over Saïx’s reports later that evening.

“I tried to make sure everything was as accurate as possible,” Saïx explained, “though it’s of course more difficult to determine what books we still need for the library without being able to see what’s in the electronic database. I of course attempted to cross-reference with the administrative computer when I could, but—”

“This is good work,” Xemnas interrupted. “You’re doing an excellent job so far.”

“I’m still trying to improve, sir,” Saïx added quickly. “I’d obviously like to avoid any setbacks such as the one this morning, but with your approval, I could check the library contents against—”

“Saïx, you’re doing fine.” Xemnas had turned to face him.

“If that’s what you think, sir.”

“There’s no need to be so formal when it’s just us,” Xemnas said. Saïx paused. “You can call me by my name.” He reached out to Saïx and tucked a bit of hair behind his ear. “Since we’ve gotten to know each other a bit better. Don’t you think so, Saïx?”

“Yes… Xemnas,” Saïx tried.

“That’s very good to hear,” Xemnas said, his hand lingering on Saïx’s neck, under his ear. Saïx stared back at him, unsure of what he was supposed to be doing, barely daring to breathe. Their bodies were close enough that Saïx could rest his hands on Xemnas’s chest, if he wanted, and he wouldn’t be too dizzy waking up from berserk to control his limbs. It would be on purpose. Their faces were close enough that Xemnas’s face was the only thing Saïx could focus on, his silver bangs framing the golden-orange eyes he trained solely on Saïx, his lips curved in that slow smile, his fingertips curling against Saïx’s neck, his—

“But you’ll want to finish giving me the report I’m certain you spent time on,” Xemnas said, letting his hand drop and turning to look down at the papers on the desk. “We can continue our discussion afterwards.”

“Y-Yes, of course,” Saïx agreed, blinking himself back into focus and bringing his attention back to the report. He took a breath and steadied his hands on the desk. “As I was saying…” Saïx paused and scanned the document; he had no idea where he’d left off.

“You were reporting on the progress of the library database,” Xemnas said, indicating the place on the page with a finger.

“Yes, the library,” Saïx repeated. “Progress so far has been steady, but I wanted to call your attention to a few potential snags that I found. In order to connect the library contents with the larger electronic database, we first have to...” He resumed going over his report. Perhaps if he concentrated on finishing it, he wouldn’t think about Xemnas’s hands in his hair again.

But it was so easy to think about it, and more challenging than he expected to hide those thoughts. He kept darting glances over at Xemnas, watching the way his chest rose and fell, speaking faster to finish his report quicker, anticipating Xemnas's hands on his neck again, on his shoulders, in his hair, on his—

“Saïx,” Xemnas said, “you seem distracted.” He’d finally caught Saïx looking.

“My apologies, sir, I—”

“I’d prefer for you to use my name.”

“Sorry… Xemnas. I was collecting my thoughts, I just…” Xemnas placed his hand back on Saïx’s neck; Saïx had to remind himself to breathe.

“I’m not concerned about the quality of your data analysis,” Xemnas said, letting out a chuckle. “I know you’ve produced good work, but I can tell that you’re not yet focused enough to present it to me fully.” His grip tightened, and he pressed down, until Saïx’s knees gave way, sinking down and landing on the floor. “Let’s eliminate your distraction first, hm?”

“Yes, Xemnas.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Things continued in a similar pattern for the next few weeks. Saïx would receive missions assigned to the other members from Xemnas in the morning, hand out those missions in the lounge, work on his own tasks with the dusks and the administrative computer, collect mission reports, compile them, and then present things to Xemnas in his office at the end of the day. Sometimes there was training in Saïx’s private training room, and sometimes there were the kind of closed-door meetings in Xemnas’s office that involved Saïx on his knees and Xemnas with his pants down. In any case, there was never more than a day or so between either form of physical exertion. It was a good routine, one that made it easy for Saïx to plan his days around.

Until the pattern finally changed.

Saïx walked into Xemnas’s office, as usual, to find him deeply embroiled in a discussion with Xigbar.

“...not telling you to rush unnecessarily,” Xemnas was saying. “Simply make sure that the tasks I asked you to do are actually on track to being accomplished.” Was Xigbar being reprimanded? Saïx hadn’t noticed anything amiss from his reports recently.

“And you know as well as I do that she isn’t going to let her attention wander from her new toy anytime soon,” Xigbar replied, not sounding contrite in the slightest. Then again, that certainly didn’t sound like anything that had been in Xigbar’s reports. “If it was at all possible to get to it at this point in time, I would have finished it weeks ago.” Whose ‘toy’ were they talking about? Why had Xemnas given Xigbar a task that Saïx wasn’t aware of, and what was the goal?

“The access controls were built to be outside of that section of the facility,” Xemnas insisted. This had to have something to do with the old lab, then, and the witch that had invaded it. Why keep it secret that Xemnas was having Xigbar go back to the old lab? What was still there? “It is unfathomable why you claim to not—”

Xemnas stopped talking and turned to look at Saïx. Xigbar turned as well.

“Saïx. I’ve not yet finished discussing things with Xigbar. Please come back later.”

“We have training scheduled for this afternoon, sir,” Saïx reminded him.

“Something’s come up, and it looks like Xigbar and I will need to spend some extensive time on it,” Xemnas replied. “You’ll have to train on your own for today.”

“Understood, sir,” Saïx said, careful to keep his face neutral. “I’ll return this evening with the mission reports, then.”

“Thank you, Saïx.” Well, that was a clear dismissal. Saïx bowed slightly and left, closing Xemnas’s door again behind him, knowing that whatever discussion had been occurring would not resume until after he had walked away.

Instead of heading to his training room, he immediately went to go find Axel. If today was a training day, and Saïx was meant to be training with Xemnas but couldn’t because Xemnas was busy scolding Xigbar, then it easily followed that Xigbar had blown off training with Axel to go be scolded by Xemnas. If there was ever a time to talk without worrying about being overheard themselves, it was now.

He found Axel in the library.

“Hey there,” Axel said. “I thought you might come here eventually.”

“So your training’s been cancelled as well,” Saïx replied, in lieu of a greeting.

“How’d you guess?” Axel asked, the corner of his mouth quirking up.

“I have a little time before I need to start practicing on my own,” Saïx said. He glanced deliberately at one of the dusks currently in the library, slow enough for Axel to catch his movement, and then returned Axel’s expression. “Let me update you on the schedule change. I have a copy on the computer in the other room that we can edit.”

“Lead the way.” They walked down the hall to the computer room. Saïx shut the door behind them.

“There, now we have some privacy,” Saïx said.

“So?” Axel prompted.

“Xemnas has given Xigbar an off-the-books mission to go back to the Radiant Garden lab,” Saïx explained. “I don’t know what the details are yet because they stopped talking about it as soon as they noticed me enter the room.” He sat down at the computer, unlocked it, and started pulling up various schedules. “Whatever it is, Xigbar’s struggling to finish it, and that means we may have some extra time to do our own investigations during our usual training times until he’s completed his mission. We can’t forego training entirely, or our lack of progress will be noticed, but while I attempt to find out what Xigbar’s mission is, you should try to find out what data the lab here is still keeping separate from this computer.”

“You know that Zexion isn’t going to let me touch his computer,” Axel argued. “And how are you planning to find out what Xigbar’s been up to?”

“Xemnas is going to tell me,” Saïx said. He started highlighting the new gaps in supervision on both his and Axel’s schedules. “He’ll have to give some kind of explanation, now that I know Xigbar’s secret mission exists. Even if I receive only partial information, that will still inform what avenues of investigation we should pursue next. And I don’t want you to go after Zexion’s computer; you should try to find that stack of discs he had. If you only take a few at a time, and then put them back when we’re done, he shouldn’t notice us borrowing them.”

“Okay, stealing a few computer discs probably won’t be impossible,” Axel replied. “I’ll try to nick as many as I can. But I don’t think Xemnas is going to answer all your questions just ‘cause you ask nicely. You should assume he’s going to lie until proven otherwise.”

“I’ve convinced him to give me more responsibilities already, haven’t I?” The memory of Xemnas’s hands on his neck and in his hair rose to the forefront of Saïx’s mind unbidden, and he quickly shoved it down so that he could concentrate. “It’s going to take some time until he trusts me completely, but we’re making progress.”

“Can’t argue too much with progress being slow when this nice, private room is one of the perks of your new job, I guess,” Axel said.

“Speaking of that...” Saïx added, “You should also know that Xemnas has started to design a security system for this castle similar to the one that was in Radiant Garden. That includes video cameras and other monitoring systems in most areas.”

“Another reason for us to hurry with our snooping, then,” Axel said.

“Exactly,” Saïx confirmed. “In fact, I think that it’s best if we get into the habit of only discussing plans between ourselves when we’re in one of our private rooms. I don’t know how soon the cameras will be up and running just yet, but I’m certain that the library and computers will be watched more closely than other areas.”

“Hey, let’s get back to the good news where you tell me what we can do about it,” Axel frowned.

“If the cameras can be accessed from this computer,” Saïx said, “then there’s always a chance I can delete footage. As long as no one else has seen it yet, at least.”

“Better than nothing?”

“We can come up with a more permanent solution later, once I figure out how the footage is going to be saved. In the meantime, we should both gather as much information as we can.”

“I’ll do my best,” Axel said, grinning, “as long as you do yours.”

“Don’t worry,” Saix replied, “I’m intending to.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“Here are the reports for today,” Saïx told Xemnas, later that week, “including the resource acquisition analysis you requested for the latest off-world excursions.”

Xemnas took the papers, frowning as he thumbed through them.

“Are you certain you’ve done enough analysis on this?” he asked. “I expected there to be much more data, considering the length of the missions.”

“I thought the information would be best conveyed visually, this time,” Saïx answered. “If you let me show you the charts, I can explain what I mean.” In truth, he’d spent most of his time lately combing through the discs Axel had slipped him, and had slapped the data from everyone else’s missions into charts at the last minute, figuring he could make things up about them as he went along. Xemnas didn’t need to know that, though, and he probably wouldn’t find out, as long as he didn’t look too closely at the report.

But this was the first time this week that Xemnas had actually slowed down enough to examine Saix’s reports without shooing him away so he could browbeat Xigbar. Perhaps it was time to distract Xemnas from the report by addressing that.

“I thought I might have received additional data from Xigbar,” Saïx added, keeping his voice neutral, “but he unfortunately neglected to report on his trips to Radiant Garden this week.”

“Xigbar’s mission to Radiant Garden is a separate affair,” Xemnas said. “However, while that particular task is of high importance, it has been necessarily put on hold until we can access the old lab without drawing attention to ourselves.”

“Perhaps we could look at the situation again, and I could offer another perspective,” Saïx suggested, stepping a bit closer, just enough to be noticeable. “No matter how important the task, I can’t help you if I’m not made aware of it.”

“I admire your enthusiasm,” Xemnas replied, turning to put the papers down on the desk, “but that part of Radiant Garden is still too dangerous for you to visit. You haven’t had enough training yet to be able to deal with the enemies there if we’re caught.”

He wasn’t taking the bait; maybe Saïx wasn’t noticeable enough, after all. It had worked before, so all he had to do was try harder.

“How can I get stronger when I’ve been training by myself all week?” Saïx asked. Xemnas turned back to face him. “You don’t have limit yourself to only one approach to a problem when there are other options available to you.” If Xigbar’s mission being postponed meant Axel’s training was going to be supervised again - which in turn meant that Saïx’s supply of appropriated data would stop - then Saïx might as well get his training back, too. “If something is important to you, then let me know how I can help.”

“You are right in that interrupting your training is not the answer,” Xemnas said eventually. “We’ll resume that, starting tomorrow. But you still have much to learn before I will allow you to undertake a mission such as that.” He started to turn back towards the report on the desk. Saïx had to do _something_.

“If I could at least help gather information,” Saïx reached for Xemnas’s arm, “then maybe that could–”

“Saïx,” Xemnas interrupted, “I understand that you want to help, but my decision is final. I’ll not risk either you or our objective with any hasty action now when what we must do is exercise patience. Do you understand?” He raised Saïx’s chin up with a gloved hand and stared at him in silence; Saïx returned the gaze as best he could.

“Yes, sir,” Saïx answered softly.

“Saïx…”

“Yes, Xemnas.”

“Good.” Xemnas smiled. “But if you think I’ve neglected to pay attention to you lately, then you should’ve told me that in the first place.” He rubbed his thumb across Saïx’s cheek, and Saïx wondered if Xemnas could feel the warmth in his face through the leather glove. “We should speak plainly so that we can understand each other better, don’t you think?”

Saïx knew that both he and Xemnas were still hiding things from each other, but he also knew that wasn’t the answer Xemnas wanted to hear right now. He was going to lie and agree because it was the only way to get closer to the truth.

But there was something else about the way Xemnas looked at him that made Saïx want to agree with him anyway, something that Saïx had no idea how to explain.

“Yes.” The only way to figure everything out was to keep going, wasn’t it?

“Very good.” Xemnas finally let his hand drop. Then he glanced back down at his desk and promptly frowned. “You still haven’t given me your report on today’s missions, though. Discussing your training should come after that…” He drummed his fingers on the desk a couple times. “We can’t start the next phase of this month’s missions until I receive the analysis back from the current ones, so let’s finish this tonight.”

“Very well.” Saïx turned back towards the desk as well, skimmed the report Xemnas was holding for clues, and attempted to remember what he had been planning to say.

“This is seventy-five-percent charts,” Xemnas said, still frowning, fanning the papers out on the desk. “How am I supposed to plan anything with this? Please explain what you intended to show me with this data.” Of course the one time Saïx had half-assed his report to Xemnas this week was the one time Xemnas was interested in the details.

“Certainly,” Saïx answered, shuffling through the papers until he found the first set of graphs, then laying them out side-by-side on Xemnas’s desk. “This is the preliminary data analysis I’ve done of the worlds Xigbar and Xaldin visited today, in regards to population density and general resource distribution.” He indicated the graph on the paper directly in front of himself. “As you can see from this data, the expected growth in the world Xigbar went to is actually higher than the one Xaldin visited, despite its current lower population. If we take this into account, we can project it out to around six to-”

“You don’t need to get granular, just give me an overview,” Xemnas interrupted. “We can examine the details later, but I need to know what I’m looking at here so I can decide what course of action to take.”

“Of course,” Saïx said. Or maybe Xemnas wouldn’t notice how quickly these charts had been put together, after all. He set the first two charts aside and reached over the desk to point at another graph in front of Xemnas. “If we’re looking for one of several worlds from which to acquire resources without being noticed, including the specialty materials you indicated were required for—”

Saïx cut himself off, frozen in place, his hand still pointing at the graph. Xemnas’s hand was on his ass. Xemnas was touching his ass.

“Saïx, please continue,” Xemnas said, as if nothing had happened. “We need to finish this so we can discuss other things.” Was that what he meant by discussing?

Saïx took a breath and stood back up. Xemnas left his hand where it was.

“...Of course,” Saïx repeated. He took another breath. “I’m going to need to run some more numbers if you want a more detailed comparison between the two worlds later,” he added, “but the overview seems to suggest the greater chance of return on our investment is the world Xigbar visited. I would suggest looking there first if you want to prioritize long-term strategies.”

“And that’s everything?” Xemnas’s hand squeezed him lightly.

“I… I also have an update on the library,” Saïx continued, flushing slightly, fishing around on the desk for another page of his report. “While I was waiting for everyone’s reports this afternoon, I also took the liberty of checking the digitization progress for the databases. Although the dusks have improved in their sorting of materials according to the categories we’ve outlined for them, I’ve still been dealing with the more critical items myself. Of course, trying to limit exposure to such items by the dusks necessarily limits the volume I can catalogue per day. I’m certain that things could be sped up if I had a better idea of what’s considered priority infor—”

“Saïx, come here,” Xemnas said suddenly. Saïx stopped again. They were already standing next to each other. He hadn’t finished his report yet.

Saïx turned to face Xemnas, trying to read his face for a hint of what was on his mind; it was difficult as always. Xemnas was staring back down at him, expression cryptic.

“I haven’t finished my—” Saïx started, but halted when Xemnas held the side of Saïx’s face with his gloved hand. Saïx tried again. “I haven’t finished my report yet.”

“I’ll read the details later,” Xemnas said. Had their faces always been this close? If Xemnas was so impatient for after-work exertion, why was he just standing there and staring? Saïx felt himself flushing again, and the heat only increased when Xemnas rubbed his thumb across Saïx’s cheek again.

“But I thought you—”

Xemnas covered Saïx’s mouth with his own, swallowing his words as he pulled Saïx against him.

It was like falling backwards into a deep ocean, with no sense of up or down except where he stood in relation to Xemnas, nothing to hold onto except Xemnas’s leather coat, no space to breathe except the press and slide of Xemnas’s lips on his own, no room to think past the suspended eternity of the present. Saïx gasped when they parted, but it was only for the briefest of moments before the sound was recaptured in another embrace. Xemnas’s tongue delved into Saïx’s mouth, decisive and insistent, his hands on Saïx’s back, holding him up. Saïx could only whimper and cling as he tried to keep his balance, his head tilted up and his breathing stuttered.

Their lips parted from each other a second time and Saïx opened his eyes to blink up at Xemnas, mouth still slightly open. He was still catching his breath, and he knew that he should probably say something, should ask Xemnas exactly what this development meant, but it was difficult to find the words to speak when Xemnas was still holding him close, the corners of his mouth turning up in that slow, pleased smile. Then Xemnas moved that mouth to the skin under Saïx’s ear, and Saïx’s train of thought was lost. He let his eyes fall closed again, his head tilting to the side of its own accord. Xemnas continued exploring Saïx’s neck, scraping his teeth on Saïx’s skin before following with his lips and his tongue. Saïx could hear the sound of his breathing picking up, accented by that of lips on flesh.

Xemnas began unzipping Saïx’s coat, his mouth traveling further down Saïx’s neck. When Saïx realized what was happening, he opened his eyes and stilled again. Xemnas’s mouth on his neck was intoxicating, but this wasn’t exactly something he’d agreed to at the beginning of their arrangement. There was a difference between Saïx using knowledge from the dirty magazines that Isa and Lea had snuck and shared to gain Xemnas’s confidence and Xemnas thinking other things were fair game as well without Saïx knowing what he was getting in return.

“Xemnas…” he began. That, if anything, only had an encouraging effect. Xemnas started shrugging Saïx’s coat off his shoulders. Saïx tried extricating himself away from the circle of Xemnas’s embrace so that he could think. “Xemnas, I—”

“Shh,” Xemnas said, capturing Saïx’s lips again and pushing Saïx’s coat down his arms. Saïx didn’t know what to do. He heard his leather coat hit the floor, pooling around his feet. He didn’t know what he was supposed to say. Xemnas pulled him back into another embrace, one hand snaking up the back of Saïx’s shirt, the other finding his hip, grinding Saïx against him and causing Saïx to let out another involuntary whimper.

Saïx’s fingers flexed uselessly at his sides. He had to figure out how to say something.

“Xemnas, I… I think…” he’d finally managed to pull his head away, gaze falling on the abandoned report still laying in the desk, “I think maybe we should—”

“Don’t worry, Saïx,” Xemnas was smiling, turning Saïx’s head back to face him, brushing Saïx’s hair out of his eyes, tracing his finger across the scarring lines on Saïx’s face. “We can discuss your training concerns tomorrow, too.” Saïx couldn’t remember what he had meant to ask about, but he didn't think it was that. He felt his eyes crossing, and as Xemnas kissed him again, he couldn’t tell which of Xemnas’s mouth or hands was the more dizzying. He heard himself make another muffled, helpless sound; all he could do was attempt to hold himself up by leaning against Xemnas with increasingly shaky legs.

The hand that had been at his hip moved to the front of his pants and began unbuttoning them. Saïx heard himself gasp into Xemnas’s mouth again, but there was no way for him to speak with Xemnas’s tongue still in his mouth. There was a slight pause, only to bring one of Saïx’s hands to his own fly, and then he resumed taking off Saïx’s pants. Saïx didn’t know what else to do, so he just started touching Xemnas’s dick like he usually did and hoped he would figure out what he’d meant to say.

Any attempted train of thought was interrupted once more by Xemnas pulling his pants and underwear down both at once; they got caught on his boots at his knees, and Saïx went still again. Xemnas pulled away slightly and began taking his gloves off. Then, he stroked the two lines on Saïx’s face again.

“You’re doing so well, Saïx.” Xemnas was still smiling. Saïx’s head felt so foggy, he wasn’t sure he could move without falling over, so he stayed put with his hand stilled on Xemnas’s growing hardon. He tried to say something, but he couldn’t get his throat to work properly.

Xemnas started fishing in his desk drawer with one hand and returned with a potion bottle, uncorking it, dipping his finger in, and then pressing a slick finger into the cleft of Saïx’s ass. Saïx heard himself gasp again, and had to lean further into Xemnas to keep himself upright. Xemnas chuckled softly and kept his finger moving. It was difficult to tell how much time passed like that, with Xemnas stretching Saïx with his fingers, Saïx helpless to do anything but cling to Xemnas to keep his shaking legs from collapsing underneath him.

Whether it was an age or mere minutes, Xemnas eventually let his fingers slip free and pulled Saïx upright by the shoulders. Saïx, panting, looked up at Xemnas, trying to focus on his face. Xemnas dipped his tongue into Saïx’s open mouth one more time, and when they broke apart, laid Saïx across the desk, face down.

“You look very good like that, Saïx,” Xemnas said quietly, his hand leisurely tracing the curve of Saïx’s ass one more time. Saïx started to turn his head back to look at Xemnas over his shoulder, and it was like the fog he’d been under lifted; Xemnas was staring so intently at him that it seemed as if his amber eyes could see directly into the void at the center of Saïx’s being.

Saïx opened his mouth again to say something, and then Xemnas thrust into him, all of him, all at once. Saïx cried out, his head snapping back forward, his mouth hanging open for a throat that couldn’t form words. Xemnas didn’t wait for him to adjust, either, only immediately thrust into Saïx again, and then again. He was entirely without mercy. Saïx gripped the far edge of the desk and hung on.

Xemnas reached around Saïx to wrap a hand around Saïx’s cock, but it didn’t temper his movement in the slightest. He other hand was gripped on Saïx’s hip, holding him in place as he drove his own hips forward. Saïx heard himself start to make more wordless sounds, but he was helpless to do anything more than brace himself against the desk. All his defenses had been peeled away; it was like Xemnas was splitting him in two at the same time as he had Saïx’s body completely covered with his own. His teeth were on Saïx’s neck again, one hand painting fingertip bruises on Saïx’s hip while the other was swiftly stroking him into mewling incoherence. All the while, he never ceased the constant stabbing into Saïx, his cock piercing deeper than what seemed possible with each powerful ram of his hips.

It was all too much at once, and Saïx didn’t know how much longer he could endure this unforgiving pace. As Xemnas pulled him back onto his cock again, and again, wrenching another meaningless sound from his throat each time, the tension coiled tightly within Saïx finally became too much to hold back, bursting out of him in sharp jolts. He came with a sustained moan, the side of his face plastered onto the desk even as he splattered the underside of it in ribbons he couldn’t see, his legs buckling underneath him. Xemnas’s fervid pace finally began to stutter at that, and he jabbed into Saïx with increasingly uneven thrusts, now holding Saïx up with both hands, snapping his hips until his own climax spilled forth, pumping his cock into Saïx until he, too, was completely spent. Another minute or so passed like that, with Xemnas on top of Saïx, on top of the desk, and then Xemnas at last slid out of Saïx and moved back.

Saïx pushed himself up with his elbows, his legs still shaking slightly. He could feel Xemnas’s come dripping out of him and down the inside of his thigh. He turned to face Xemnas again, still panting and pushing on the desk to remain upright; Xemnas was sitting sprawled in his chair, staring at him, grinning outright. Saïx tried to think of something to say.

“Was…” he was still trying to get his breathing under control, “was there anything else… you wanted?” was what came out of Saïx’s mouth.

Xemnas laughed.

“No, I think that’s all for tonight,” Xemnas said. Saïx continued staring back at Xemnas and took another breath. Xemnas frowned. “You can’t move, can you?” Saïx took another breath. Xemnas chuckled again. “Here.” He stood up, put himself back in his pants, and then walked over to Saïx and did the same for him, pulling up his underwear and pants at once and zipping them up, leaving the stickiness on Saïx’s thighs where it was. Then he pulled Saïx’s coat up from the floor around him, guided his arms into the sleeves, and zipped it up as Saïx leaned back on the desk. “Can you walk?”

“I…” Saïx grit his teeth and willed himself to stand upright. “Yes.”

“Good.” Xemnas tilted his chin up with his still-bare hand and kissed him one last time. Saïx let his mouth stay open for the slow, lingering dip of Xemnas’s tongue. “I’ll see you tomorrow morning,” Xemnas said softly.

“Yes,” Saïx replied, for lack of being able to think of anything else. Then, he turned around and slowly walked out of Xemnas’s office, feeling Xemnas’s eyes focused on him until he closed the door behind him and left down the hall.

Saïx had no idea how he got from the hall outside Xemnas’s office to the showers, how long he spent in the showers, or how he got from the showers back to his room. When he returned back to his room, Saïx took a potion for the soreness, stripped out of his coat and put on his pajama pants, and then promptly laid face-down on his bed over the covers and passed out until morning.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Xemnas fucked him again the next day after work, and again the day after that. Saïx did a few calculations in response to this new precedent, and then adjusted the castle’s monthly potion budget accordingly. He considered this, and then the day after, made an adjustment to the coffee budget as well. He also went back to his notes, reexamined the data from Xaldin’s off-world excursion that he’d dismissed earlier, and showed Xemnas his recalculations and added suggestions for obtaining resources from multiple vectors. Both Xaldin and Vexen became slightly less cranky when Saïx relayed Xemnas’s orders to expand the research materials acquisition, so that was an added bonus.

At least Xemnas had made good on his promise to no longer neglect Saïx’s training. The sessions increased in both intensity and frequency. Saïx still couldn’t remember anything that happened while he was in the berserk state, but both his non-berserk memories and the ache in his limbs confirmed that Xemnas was committed to helping Saïx become stronger. The periods of disorientation after waking up from berserk didn’t abate, but Saïx thought that they were at least getting shorter in duration. Perhaps it was simply a matter of more practice.

Saïx would really prefer if it was simply a matter of practice, and not possibly a permanent feature of the post-berserk experience. He didn’t particularly enjoy losing time and being completely defenseless every time he was done expelling a large amount of uncontrolled energy.

In any case, what was new eventually became routine again. Saïx wondered if he should find it strange, or if strange things becoming routine was simply a side-effect of everyone involved in the situation lacking hearts. It probably didn’t matter. There was something reassuring about knowing that no matter what happened, he would still wake up every morning at the same time, walk down the same hallway, and pour himself the same two cups of coffee he did every morning.

“Morning,” Axel said, waving absently as Saïx walked into the kitchen. He was standing by the coffee maker, wrinkling his nose at it.

Of course, the routine only worked if there was actually coffee there to be drunk in the morning.

“Tell me there’s coffee in there,” Saïx said, walking towards the cupboard with the mugs.

“I’d like to, believe me,” Axel said, “but I’ve unfortunately got some bad news for you.”

“It’s only seven-thirty. There should be plenty left.” Saïx pulled his favorite mug from the mismatched collection. “In fact, I’m a little surprised to see you in here this early.” It was his favorite because it was slightly larger than most of the other mugs.

“Eh, I couldn’t sleep.” Axel started rummaging in the coffee drawer for the materials for another pot.

“Are you feeling well?” Saïx asked. “You’re not coming down with a cold, are you?” It was just a fact of life that Axel, like Lea, never missed a chance to sleep in.

“The only cold here is the the cold cruelty of a pot of coffee that was emptied and not refilled,” Axel said.

“You’re kidding me.” Saïx started stalking over to the coffee pot, favorite mug in hand. “Did he really—”

“Yup, we got Vexened again.”

“ _Excuse me_ ,” Vexen suddenly walked in, glowering at Axel. “That’s no way to speak to your elder, not to mention someone who’s about to fix your coffee maker.”

“Speak of the devil!” Axel responded, in a blatantly false cheerful tone. “Stop leaving the coffee pot empty, my most senior of senior colleagues.”

“Why does the coffee maker need fixing?” Saïx pressed. “What’s wrong with it?”

“I can only assume that it was broken,” Vexen said, turning to face Saïx, “because someone present in this room who is neither you nor I,” Axel immediately dropped the cheerful act and rolled his eyes from behind Vexen, “has the tendency to hit a machine in the grievously mistaken impression that it will make the coffee percolate faster, rather than simply wait for it to finish brewing. I would also like the record to reflect that the machine was already broken when I walked into the kitchen this morning. Fortunately, I had the wherewithal to go down to the lab and find some spare parts that should be compatible with our coffee maker, so if you’ll assist me in shooing away our current nuisance hovering around the coffee maker, I will fix the machine for us.” He pulled some metal bits out of his pocket to demonstrate.

“And then there will be coffee?” Saïx prompted.

“Then there will be coffee,” Vexen nodded.

Saïx nodded back, and then dragged Axel by the arm to the other side of the room.

“Hey!” Axel protested, though he let himself be dragged. “Traitor.”

“Axel, listen to me,” Saïx said.

“Yes?”

“I need coffee,” Saïx said. Axel sighed.

“ _Fine_ ,” Axel replied. Saïx let go of his arm, and then went to the fridge to find breakfast for the both of them. “What’s on the menu today?”

“It looks like Lexaeus made waffle batter with extra bits again,” Saïx said, pulling the bowl out. He also pulled out the peanut butter, mostly for masking the taste of whatever additional nutrition bits Lexaeus had decided to add that day. It was probably better not to ask.

“Gross, pass,” Axel said. “I’m just gonna make an omelette.”

“Suit yourself,” Saïx responded, pulling a couple eggs out as well.

“I don’t even know why you eat that stuff,” Axel said.

“It’s Wednesday,” Saïx replied.

“And?”

“Wednesdays are training days,” Saïx replied. The extra protein would be useful. “Did you forget?”

“Almost…” Axel started. He had training with Xigbar three days a week. Saïx turned to look at him. “...But no,” he finished.

Saïx had training with Xemnas five days a week, every day except Thursdays and Sundays. He considered telling Axel this, but turned to switch on the waffle maker instead. Vexen was still fixing the coffee maker on the other side of the room, after all.

“How’s training going, by the way?” Axel asked, grabbing a frying pan and putting it on the stove. “Is Xemnas as much of an uptight drill sergeant as Xigbar is about that crap?”

“Hey, watch your mouth, kid,” Xigbar said, walking into the kitchen.

“ _Again?_ ” Axel complained.

“It’s at least going better than your luck today,” Saïx told Axel, flashing him a smirk as he handed over a bowl and a fork to beat the eggs with.

“Everything is, apparently,” Axel muttered. He flashed a grin back. Saïx stirred the peanut butter with a knife while he waited for his waffles to finish.

“We’re making progress,” Saïx continued quietly. Axel met his gaze for just an instant. “I just wish the progress was faster sometimes.” Maybe it was dangerous to speak so closely to the truth in front of others, but it was hard to find the energy to care about it. The teasing reminded him of Lea, and Saïx hadn’t had his coffee yet.

“Every little bit counts though, right?” Axel replied. “You’ve just gotta keep working on it, and you’ll be a pro before you know it.” He was right; they had to keep working towards the truth. This would pay off eventually.

“Hey Red,” Xigbar said, from where he’d sat down at the table, “how come you can’t have the same attitude about your own training?”

“Because it doesn’t involve—” Axel started, then stopped himself, narrowing his eyes at Xigbar. “ _Hey_. How come you already have a coffee mug?”

“Uh, I came by earlier this morning and got some coffee?” Xigbar replied. Saïx turned to look at him; sure enough, there was Xigbar, sitting at the table, an empty coffee mug resting right in front of him. “I came back in here to get a second cup, but Vexen looked like he was doing a bunch of weird shit to the machine.”

“Were you the last one in here to get coffee?” Saïx asked Xigbar.

“I dunno, maybe.”

“Did you break the coffee maker?” Saïx asked Xigbar.

“Well, it’s not like I specifically checked to see if it was broken when I was in here the first time,” Xigbar said. “I just came in, got my breakfast, and got some coffee. It was probably already broken before I got here. How could I possibly have known?”

“Well, I found out when I tried to make a new pot,” Axel commented, “so it’s actually pretty easy to tell when you push all the right buttons and coffee doesn’t happen.”

“Did you not check because you _emptied the pot without refilling it?_ ” Saïx asked Xigbar.

“I guess we got Xigbared,” Axel said.

“Is it _your fault_ there is _no coffee?_ ” Saïx asked Xigbar, starting to stalk over to him.

“Calm down and put the peanut butter knife away,” Xigbar said, throwing his hands up.

“Hey, Saïx—” Axel started.

“Actually, there _is_ coffee again,” Vexen interrupted. Saïx paused, and blinked.

“Oh,” Saïx said. He turned and walked over to Vexen, who was holding out his favorite mug, filled with what would undoubtedly be his favorite coffee. “Thank you.” He took the mug from Vexen, and immediately burned his tongue on a huge gulp. It was completely worth it.

“You’re welcome,” Vexen said dryly. Saïx went back to putting his waffles on a plate and slathering some peanut butter on top. The burnt tongue would help there, too. Axel passed him going the other way. “Ah ah ah,” Vexen said, holding Axel’s mug back. “I want my thanks first.”

“Are you serious?” Axel retorted.

“That depends how serious you are about wanting this coffee,” Vexen replied. Axel groaned loudly. Saïx couldn’t help but crack a smile from behind his own bitter, glorious mug, but to be fair, it was objectively funny. To make up for it, he also put Axel’s omelette on a plate so it wouldn’t burn, and then drew a little fireball face on the top of it in hot sauce. “And do remember to be polite about it, for once.”

“I am most definitely one hundred percent sincerely sorry I called you super old, and I am even more grateful that you did a bunch of weird and probably illegal shit that somehow fixed the coffee maker, now can I please have my fucking coffee?” Axel rattled out all at once.

“Hmm, that’ll do,” Vexen said, and handed the mug over.

“Fucking _finally_ ,” Axel said, walking back over to Saïx. Saïx handed him his omelette. “Oh, hey, thanks.” Saïx shrugged nonchalantly and took another sip of his coffee.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Saïx was walking back to the showers, later that week, and he was trying to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. He still wasn’t entirely sure what the best practice was in this sort of situation, but he wasn’t about to have anyone else ask him what he had been doing with Xemnas in his office, long after everyone else had finished work for the day.

Well, anything that they wouldn’t be able to guess, already. There was only so much he could do to avoid looking like he’d just been bent over a desk and fucked by his boss until he could barely stand. Again.

“Saïx?”

Shit.

There was a figure walking towards him from the other end of the darkened hallway, but Saïx didn’t have to look him in the face to know who it was.

“Saïx, is that you? I’ve been looking for you everywhere.” Saïx didn’t want to look him in the eyes. “I wanted to talk to you about—”

Axel stepped close enough to see his face, and immediately halted.

“I was in a meeting with Lord Xemnas.” He tried to look at Axel’s wide-eyed face and immediately regretted it. He knew what he looked like right now, his hair a mess, his coat only half-heartedly zipped, his neck covered in bruises. He knew that he smelled like everything that was still stuck to his thighs under his pants. And judging from Axel’s expression, he hadn’t missed a single detail of it.

“Saïx, what—”

“We’re making progress,” Saïx interrupted. Axel shut his mouth but kept staring, frozen. Of course he knew what Saïx had been doing. “It’s late, and I’m tired.” Saïx also wasn’t stupid enough to think that it was safe to talk in the hallway. “If you want to chat, you can stop by my room tomorrow, once you’re done with your mission.”

Axel didn’t say anything else. Saïx kept walking down the hallway, and there was something both relieving and painful about the fact that Axel didn’t even attempt to follow him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter got art made for it! Here’s some [Xemnas bending Saïx over the desk](https://mobile.twitter.com/SinspirationSt/status/1124511199121543169). Thank you so much Jer!


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